Jay Allen  Sanford  GET TO KNOW ME - THERE, I FINALLY FILLED OUT THIS STUPID EMAIL, SO EVERYONE STOP STOP SENDING IT TO ME..............

  1. What time did you get up this morning? 'Bout noon - daylight is overrated

  2. Diamonds or pearls? 'Pends what you want me to do for 'em

  3. What was the last film you saw at the cinema? Sherlock Holmes at the Drive-In, home of the Rat On A Stick

  4. What is your favorite TV show? Rat Patrol

  5. What do you eat for breakfast? Leftover Rat On A Stick

  6. What is your middle name? Allen – do I even know you, or what?!

  7. What food do you dislike? rotten

  8. What is your favorite CD at the moment? BofA has a nice high yield investment option

  9. What kind of car do you drive? Old

  10. What is your favorite sandwich? Fresh

  11. What characteristic do you despise? Depends on which character is manifesting it

  12. Favorite item of clothing? The last piece of clothing a woman removes for me

  13. Favorite piece of jewelry? Captain Marvel decoder ring, or my Twilight Zone watch

  14. If you could go anywhere in the world on vacation, where would you go? Anywhere but here

  15. What color is your bathroom? Formerly white, currently unspeakable

  16. Favorite brand of clothing? Brand cows, not clothing

  17. Where would you retire to? There

  18. What was your most recent memorable birthday? Don’t remember

  19. Favorite sport to watch? Mosh pits

  20. Furthest place you are sending this? That place past all those other places

  21. Who do you expect to send this back to you first? Someone I sent it to

  22. Favorite saying? By the time people turn 40, they pretty much always have exactly the face they deserve

  23. When is you birthday? Each year on the anniversary of the day I was born

  24. Are you a morning person or night person? Allergic to daylight

  25. What is your shoe size? If the shoe fits, I wear it

  26. Pets? I’ll tell them you asked about them

  27. Any new and exciting news you'd like to share with us? Pepsi made a Saspirella flavor

  28. What did you want to be when you were little? Big

  29. What are you today? Not so big

  30. What is your favorite candy? Striper nurse

  31. What is your favorite flower? I wouldn’t want to make the other flowers jealous

  32. What is a day on the calendar you are looking forward to? Every

  33. What are you listening to right now? TV

  34. What was the last thing you ate? TV dinner

  35. Do you wish upon stars? I wish I was upon Angelina Jolie

  36. If you were a crayon what color would you be? Burnt umber

  37. How is the weather right now? I’ll ask it

  38. Favorite soft drink? Pepsi Saspirella

  39. Favorite restaurant? Kung Food (or whatever they call it this week)

  40. Spouse? No thanks, got any brief flings instead?

  41. Hair color? Let’s not bring race into this

  42. Siblings? None until I’m paid back for that bail money

  43. Favorite day of the year? Changes every year

  44. What was your favorite toy as a child? My mom’s last nerve – at least that’s what she always said I was playing on

  45. Summer or Winter? Andy Summers IS a good guitarist, but not as good as Johnny Winter. I’d Spring for Donna Summer all Winter, until I Fall

  46. Hugs or kisses? Different body parts like different things

  47. Coffee or tea? No thanks, do you have Pepsi Saspirella?

  48. Chocolate or vanilla? I’ll try them both in a Saspirella float and letcha know

  49. Do you want your friends to email you back? Why would I want to see pictures of their back?

  50. When was the last time you cried? Cried “wolf” a few years ago, but it turned out to be my dog

  51. What is under your bed? My dog – it’s thundering out

  52. What did you do today? Cleaned under my bed

  53. Favorite smell? A woman’s freshly removed lingerie

  54. What are you afraid of? Granny panties

  55. How many keys on your key ring? Two and a half (gotta replace that broken one)

  56. How many years at your current job? What job? 

  57. Favorite day of the week? Prefer nights

  58. How many towns have you lived in? ‘Pends how you define “living”

  59. Do you make friends easily? ‘Pends how you define “friends”

  60. Who do you think is least likely to respond to this? Someone I didn’t send it to

Comments

SDaniels Feb. 27, 2010 @ 7:45 p.m.

"Favorite item of clothing? The last piece of clothing a woman removes for me"

Wow--you must love outerwear! ;)

'Brand cows, not clothing?' Seriously? That is laaaaaaame, Jayallen. Moooooooooo. Cough, hack hack.

You're a journalist. You care not for branding, not just because it's cool to not like brands, but because you're sick and tired of sweat shops in barely-industrial nations cranking out duds for your hairy ass. You also wouldn't dream of sticking a half-smelted piece of metal into any living creature's flesh, especially when there is no earthly reason to do so, right?

Just checkin' to make sure we are on the same Pulitzer-winning page ;)

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antigeekess Feb. 27, 2010 @ 7:59 p.m.

Daniels speculated: "Wow--you must love outerwear!" ;)

Are you suggesting that Jay's women most likely are the commando type?

I actually discovered the pleasures of that particular wardrobe choice only recently. I sunburned my little bum and nether regions in the tanning bed, and decided to forego pinchy elastic for a bit. Delightful.

Wouldn't do it every day, though. Too scared of getting hit by a bus, or sumpfin.

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SDaniels Feb. 27, 2010 @ 8:16 p.m.

re: #2:

"Are you suggesting that Jay's women most likely are the commando type?"

I'll let Jayallen answer that one:

"The last piece of clothing a woman removes for me"

RE: the fiasco with tanning bed. AG! What the hell are you doing with those tanning beds! Do you WANT to look like you are in early menopause, Mrs. Roper?

Just give in and spray yourself orange, like any gal who respects her skin! (and George Hamilton)

;)

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David Dodd Feb. 27, 2010 @ 8:25 p.m.

My commando days ended when I had kids. It's funny that I couldn't care less what an ambulance attendant thinks, but the last thing I want is to traumatize a child who might walk in while I'm changing jeans.

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antigeekess Feb. 27, 2010 @ 8:26 p.m.

What I'm doing with that tanning bed is gettin' my heat on, because they don't make these large enough:

http://www.baumanns.ie/images/Heat-Rock.jpg

Me lizard. It rock(s).

:)

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Jay Allen Sanford Feb. 27, 2010 @ 10:08 p.m.

"Brand cows, not clothing."

Meant we need more designer cows, not bovine burning.

"Are you suggesting that Jay's women most likely are the commando type?"

I DID once date a gal in Navy special ops...her bra had a built-in knife sheath. Not making that up!

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PistolPete Feb. 27, 2010 @ 11:58 p.m.

1.What time did you get up this morning? 10:30.

2.Diamonds or pearls? Diamonds are easier to fence.

3.What was the last film you saw at the cinema? Miami Vice.

4.What is your favorite TV show? Miami Vice.

5.What do you eat for breakfast? A double Whopper-no tomato, 1/2 a medium fry and a 2 medium Dr.Peppers.

6.What is your middle name? Donald.

7.What food do you dislike? Hungarian goulash.

8.What is your favorite CD at the moment? CD? What's that? I still listen to vinyl.

9.What kind of car do you drive? Seeing as I don't have a state-issued, tax theiving piece of plastic issued to me from any government nanny agency and I'm a Go Big or Go Home kind of guy, anything I can steal as long as it isn't a stick shift.

10.What is your favorite sandwich? Gyro.

11.What characteristic do you despise? Characteristic? WTF is that? Speak English!

12.Favorite item of clothing? My duster.

13.Favorite piece of jewelry? My grandfathers diamond ring.

14.If you could go anywhere in the world on vacation, where would you go? Home.

15.What color is your bathroom? White.

16.Favorite brand of clothing? FOTL

17.Where would you retire to? Chicago.

18.What was your most recent memorable birthday? My 21st. I bought two kegs of beer, invited about 50 friends, had my beer spiked with a hit of acid, went home and freaked out, kicked in the brand new kitchen cabinets my father had just installed that day, was punched in the face by him, arrested, pepper sprayed and spent the night away from the general population in the drunk tank.

19.Favorite sport to watch? Football.

20.Furthest place you are sending this? Mars.

21.Who do you expect to send this back to you first? Martians.

22.Favorite saying? That what does not kill me, makes me that much stronger.

23.When is you birthday? January 30, 1976 @ 6:14am.

24.Are you a morning person or night person? Nocturnal vampire.

25.What is your shoe size? 9 1/2.

26.Pets? My GF.

27.Any new and exciting news you'd like to share with us? I caught a rat in a glue trap today but couldn't find the heart to kill it so I just threw it away. It's probably still trying to get free in the dumpster right now.

28.What did you want to be when you were little? A door-to-door Fuller Brush salesman.

29.What are you today? A rebel.

30.What is your favorite candy? Skor bars.

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PistolPete Feb. 27, 2010 @ 11:58 p.m.

31.What is your favorite flower? Black roses.

32.What is a day on the calendar you are looking forward to? July 4th.

33.What are you listening to right now? Law & Order on USA.

34.What was the last thing you ate? An orange cream bar.

35.Do you wish upon stars? I hate celebrities. I wish they'd all die.

36.If you were a crayon what color would you be? The Deadhead psychedelic color.

37.How is the weather right now? Clear and humid. Still waiting on that Chilean tsunami to hit the coast.

38.Favorite soft drink? Coca-cola

39.Favorite restaurant? One that's open.

40.Spouse? F*** no!

41.Hair color? And look like a complete douchebag? No thanks.

42.Siblings? An older sister.

43.Favorite day of the year? My birthday because I get free s***.

44.What was your favorite toy as a child? Myself. :-D

45.Summer or Winter? Since the weather out here is about as exciting as a day with Trig Palin, I'll go with both.

46.Hugs or kisses? Kisses but the mint hugs are pretty good as well.

47.Coffee or tea? Black Jack.

48.Chocolate or vanilla? Mint.

49.Do you want your friends to email you back? If they wish. Phone calls and visits are cool as well but I'm not holding a gun to anyone's head.

50.When was the last time you cried? When I made it to the store 5 minutes before last call with a great buzz goin' and my debit card was declined for no reason.

51.What is under your bed? A small glue trap.

52.What did you do today? Awoke, smoked a cigarette, dicked around the computer, had two cups of coffee, farted 4 times, took a shower, contemplated jerking off, shaved, got dressed, smoked a cigarette, unloaded the groceries for my roommate, went to Burger King, smoked a cigarette, farted again, dicked around on the computer, watched it rain, watched and waited for the Chilean tsunami to arrive in Hawai'i, farted twice, dicked around on the computer, grilled hamburgers for dinner, did the dishes, smoked, farted again, smoked again, took out the trash, watched it rain, waited for the Chilean tsunami to arrive in Japan, smoked, watched 3 episodes of Miami Vice, smoked, filled out a really random questionnaire, jerked off, smoked and went to bed.

53.Favorite smell? Baby powder.

54.What are you afraid of? Nothing.

55.How many keys on your key ring? 8

56.How many years at your current job? I'm currently self-employed.

57.Favorite day of the week? Saturday's alright for fighting.

58.How many towns have you lived in? More than 50.

59.Do you make friends easily? Unfortunetely, I have that "sucker" look.

60.Who do you think is least likely to respond to this? Tiger Woods.

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SDaniels Feb. 28, 2010 @ 1:07 a.m.

This reminds me that it might be possible to use the questionnaire to create a character. ;)

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MsGrant Feb. 28, 2010 @ 4:28 p.m.

Man up and kill the rat, coward. Don't start something you can't finish. And I thought you were on a diet.

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antigeekess Feb. 28, 2010 @ 7:44 p.m.

That poor creature will most likely chew a foot or two off before it gives up trying to escape. For next time:

http://shop.ebay.com/i.html?_nkw=rat+live+trap&_sacat=0&_trksid=m270&_odkw=rat+trap&_osacat=0&bkBtn=

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PistolPete Feb. 28, 2010 @ 9:22 p.m.

The glue traps were given to me by the maintainence guy a couple of weeks ago. My roommate brought home a few small mouse traps because we had just seen the rat twice and it was just a flash so we were all assuming it was a mouse.

Grant, it's not that I couldn't kill the rat, I refused to kill it. It's a rat. I hope it had to gnaw it's feet off to get out of that trap. I HATE rats! As for the diet, that IS my diet. I could gobble up 2 triple Whoppers, 2 medium fries and probably drink a gallon of Dr. Pepper.

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MsGrant March 1, 2010 @ 8:26 a.m.

"I caught a rat in a glue trap today but couldn't find the heart to kill it so I just threw it away." You profess to not having the heart to kill it. If not, then what you did was intentionally cruel and unforgivable. Subjecting ANY living creature to senseless acts of cruelty based on ignorant bias is intolerable. Rats are highly intelligent, friendly, playful and curious. I took three rats out yesterday on a Humane Society visit to a nursing home. They curled up on the patient's laps and made them smile. These people have little to smile about. Perhaps you should educate yourself more about animal behavior. It would do you a world of good.

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David Dodd March 1, 2010 @ 9:51 a.m.

I caught a snake in a glue trap at the last place I worked. We had a huge rat problem, so we employed glue traps (not my decision). Apparently, some snake decided to take advantage of easy prey. It taught me a lesson about glue traps. I'd rather kill an animal than to torture it.

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PistolPete March 1, 2010 @ 12:28 p.m.

Perhaps MsGrant, you should educate yourself more on the infectious diseases that rats carry. It might save your life and that would do you a world of good.

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