San Diego Reader

In Wake of Junior Seau Suicide, National Restaurant Chains in Talks to Join with Seau's Restaurant in Refusing to Air Professional Football on Bar TVs

Chili's national director: "There's plenty of golf and tennis we can show during those months. Maybe even some soccer."

LIGHTING A CANDLE AT SEAU'S RESTAURANT, MISSION VALLEY - At a press conference this morning, Seau's Restaurant manager Glen Ross announced that the popular eatery had taken a bold step: if today's autopsy on NFL great Junior Seau showed that he did indeed suffer from a degenerative brain disease brought on by repeated head trauma, "Seau's will not show professional football during the 2012-13 season. Or possibly ever."

"Seau's has always been a great place to watch football on Sundays, Mondays, and sometimes Thursdays," continued Ross. "But its chief loyalty must always be to the man who gave the place its name. To continue to profit by broadcasting the sport that may have brought on the depression that led to his death would be at best ghoulish, and at worst flat-out inhuman."

Remarkably, added Ross, "we have found that we are not alone in our view. I've had emails from the heads of Chili's, Friday's, and Applebee's, and they all feel the same way. We'll have to see the autopsy results, but this could be a huge deal, and we are grateful for their corporate support."

A quick hack of Ross's email account revealed this email from Chili's CEO Stuart Lumke: "Should the CTE thing turn out to be true, we plan to release the following statement to the press: 'We are proud to stand with the restaurant that bears Junior Seau's name in refusing to put entertainment and economics before a basic regard for the health and well-being of our fellow man."

"You know, at least until the playoffs," added Lumke.