Jay Allen Sanford 9:45 p.m., May 19
"Forget It Jake, It's Metropolitan."
Local Private Eye Claims to Have Uncovered Shadow Government Tied to Water Management District
"Behind every great fortune there is a great crime."
"It started as a standard snoop job," recalls Kearny Mesa-based private investigator Jake Gittes. "Some slobs from side of the political fence wanted me to catch some slob from the other side, up in Sacramento and in bed with a lobbyist. And by 'in bed with a lobbyist,' I mean 'in bed with a lobbyist.' Corruption exposed, the good guys get elected, democracy works, business as usual. Except it wasn't."
Gittes took a long drag on his Camel unfiltered and slowly exhaled a melancholy cloud of blue smoke. The tale he spun after that was as convoluted as it was preposterous, involving a plot to discredit San Diego Water Authority Board Chairman Michael Hogan, and a grand scheme to artificially spike San Diego water consumption rates by infiltrating high-end retirement complexes and cajoling residents into "accidentally" leave their faucets running all day. "The increased usage would then be used to justify the Metropolitan Water Authority's massive price hike," spat Gittes. "And thanks to the pictures I took, the only man who can stop it - Hogan - is getting dismissed as a paranoid crook. They were smart, I'll give 'em that. But they forgot one thing. Nobody makes a patsy out of Jake Gittes."