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"When the Pope died, did they lock up the churches?"

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Apple co-founder, longtime CEO, and chief visionary Steve Jobs died yesterday, and to commemorate his lifetime of innovations on behalf of consumer technology, the company announced today that their retail stores would remain open for 24 hours straight, beginning today at 9 a.m PST.

In a press conference this morning, new Apple CEO Tim Chef acknowledged that the move may strike some as "unorthodox." "Another company might have taken the more traditional step of shutting down business for a day in honor of its fallen hero," continued Chef. "But people should know by now that Apple has never been bound by any traditions - other than its own proud tradition of innovation on behalf of the consumer. That's why we're giving the public this historic opportunity. For the next 24 hours, they can obtain for themselves a part of Steve Jobs' legacy, whether they want to buy online at Apple.com or at any of our over 300 Apple stores worldwide. We'll even offer free engraving on all engravable Apple products purchased over the next 24 hours: 'Steve Jobs: 1955-2011.'"

"In short," concluded Chef, "there has never been a better time to buy Apple."

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