• Almost Factual News alerts

In Response to Hunger Strikes Protesting Violent Police Response to Occupy San Diego, SDPD Begins Setting up "Bacon Stations" Around Civic Center Plaza

"Pepper spray may not be a food product, but how about the smell of delicious, sizzling bacon?"

Method called "Cruel, unusual, and totally delicious."

Occupy San Diego activist John Kenney has been on a hunger strike for nearly a month in his effort to force the City of San Diego into negotiations over encamped protests. Recently, he was joined by Julie Kramer, who is seeking to draw attention to instances where she believes San Diego police overstepped their authority and used excessive or unnecessary force.

Now, both Kenney and Kramer are having their resolve tested as Civic Center Plaza is filled with the unbelievably amazing smell of frying applewood-smoked thick-cut bacon slices, donated by Walmart's North County supercenter. With cries of "Bacon! Come get your free bacon!" and "This bacon is a long, long way from 99% lean," officers taunted the two starving protestors, seeking to break their wills and fill their bellies.

"Oh god oh god oh god," moaned Kramer as police set up fans behind their frypans, wafting a bacony breeze directly in her direction. "Somebody tie my hands and feet, the way Odysseus was tied to the mast when the sirens tried to lure him to his death. Those bastards have got to be held responsible for their actions. The world must know, and I will not silence my cries for justice by stuffing my gob with salty, greasy, crispy-chewy, smoky, meaty goodness." Kramer's dirty hippie friends sought to fulfill her request, some even removing their do-rags and twisting them into ropes in order to bind her fast.

"She's a tough kid," one officer (speaking on condition of anyonymity) said of Kramer, his voice betraying just a hint of admiration. "But we'll get her. She wasn't ready for the other side to be so resourceful. But it's not for nothing that we're called pigs, you know? We know the power of pork products. Now Kenney, Kenney might be a different story. There are reports naming him as a vegan. That's gonna be tricky - it's hard to get really ripe tomatoes this time of year."

Image

  • Almost Factual News alerts

Comments

occupyfast Dec. 11, 2011 @ 2:38 a.m.

lol I was afraid of where this might go when I started reading it, but I love it :) I'm on Day 7. Read about my reasons for hungerstriking here: www.occupyfast.wordpress -dot-com

0

Sign in to comment

Join our
newsletter list

Enter to win $25 at Broken Yolk Cafe

Each newsletter subscription
means another chance to win!

Close