Don Bauder 9:30 p.m., March 30
- Community Blog
- Abnormal Heights
Super Bowl MMXXVIII -- San Diego
"We're reporting live from Super Bowl MMXXVIII, and it's a beautiful day under the Coronado Bridge here on the bay at the Chase-Spanos Stadium..!!
"That's right Barry, and I just want to remark on how generous the taxpayers of all San Diego were to build football this engineering marvel!"
"Yes, Dianne, it's the only stadium of it's kind in the world, entirely suspended on stilts over the remains of what once was the San Diego cargo industry."
"Oh, look, the Jets and the Chiefs are running onto the field, Barry. They seem to be adjusting their running as the stadium sways in the San Diego coastal breeze. Will that affect the game?"
"We'll see, Dianne."
"Well, it sure has had an affect on the crowd, as the stadium is swaying they seem to be moving along with it...sort of like a wave."
"Are they doing the wave? It seems the crowd is actually running for the exits, making the swaying motion stronger."
"Well, that seems to have the referee's attention. He's waving his arms toward the exits and blowing the whistle. Seems to be a pause in the...wait, the crowd is now being pushed past the ramps and onto the balcony overlooking the bay..."
"blucking blit that's...um, excuse me viewers, yes, the spectators are being pushed off the edge of the stadium, and into the water below....no, they're also landing on the concrete."
"Calm down, Dianne. The stadium is probably supposed to sway that way, especially when the crowds go a bit wild in anticipation of a big game."
"NO, Barry! This is real. I'm getting out of here while I can."
(Off camera. "Get the bluck out! It's falling!")
"Uh...well, Dianne. It's a big game...but it looks like we'll have to disappoint our 3D viewers out there as we seem to..."
"Aaaaaaaaaaah! I'm gonna die!"
"Aaaaaaaaaaah! Holy blit! Run! No!"