San Diego Reader

As soon as I step onto the Oceanside Peir my music stops , my Ipod dies. I want to wallow A man who dosen't hear me, so I hear nothing? My timimg was off so I feel boredom and lonlines. All I see around me are ghosts and shadows. I can't hear the water, the conversations or feel anyone around me. Why does Oceanside capture my being but not heal my wounds? I have a young lover in the night but I only want to swim in the shallows, make the water warm, or sit and wait until for the next storm all the while I am afraid I may fade away from a man I have loved since childhood. This pier is full of droplets that fall into the ocean, my wrists are not bleeding but my soul is. I want to jump onto this railing feel the cold, hear the splash, succomb to the depths, not of the water but to the desire of a man who dosn't hear me. Dead just like my Ipod.