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Stories by Walter Mencken

City Attorney Goldsmith admits problematic desire for more “hardcore” targets

Gateway drug busts?

UNDER THE PACIFIC HIGHWAY OVERPASS, OUTSKIRTS OF LITTLE ITALY — For several years, city attorney Jan Goldsmith contented himself with standard, low-level prosecution of the city’s medical marijuana dispensaries, which exist in a kind of ...

Poway Proposition Plea: Vote Yes on F

Help repair our crumbling educational (contract) system

Since its designation as a school district in 1960, Poway Unified has built a reputation as one of the finest places to get an excellent education (contract) in the state. Besides the crucial core program ...

Key & Peele film poster uses local police sketches in place of stars

Art Imitates Art

WAITING IN LINE FOR POPCORN, AMC MISSION VALLEY 20 — Keanu, the new comedy from Comedy Central comedians Key & Peele, has already attracted attention for its whimsical marketing campaign, which inserted the film’s titular ...

Bishop McElroy addresses USD drag show controversy: “My sweet little darlings, please come home.”

Ecce Homos?

Last week, the University of San Diego, a Catholic institution, once again hosted an LGBTQ organization's annual "PRIDE Celebration of Gender Expression: Supreme Drag Superstar" show, a tawdry, sad affair that nevertheless seeks to promote ...

Bishop McElroy makes appeal on behalf of Catholic education in wake of Mar Vista High sex scandals

Mal Vista

On April 13, Edward Aaron Mendoza, a one-time assistant football coach at Imperial Beach’s Mar Vista High School, pleaded not guilty to 20 felony counts stemming from an alleged extended sexual relationship with a 13-year-old ...

Ex-mayor Bob Filner comes out in support of city attorney candidate Cabrera following anti-slut-shaming op-ed

Shameless?

On April 7, Democratic candidate for city attorney, Gil Cabrera, penned an op-ed for VoiceofSanDiego.com entitled “Slut Shaming Isn’t a Viable Legal Strategy.” He decried the tendency of lawyers to defend clients accused of sexual ...

Donald Trump appropriates scrawled slogan for border wall initiative

UCSD’s Stonewall moment?

On April 10, a series of pro-Trump messages were found scrawled in chalk on the sidewalks of UCSD, at least one of which included the slogan, “Build the wall, deport them all.” University Administration and ...

San Diego selected as trial city for online retailer’s personalized organ-delivery service

Amazon primal

Today, Amazon announced “the next step in our evolution toward becoming the most essential goods and services provider the world has ever seen. Thanks to technology we’d rather not discuss and you’d rather not know ...

Generation Y Not Bernie?

Photos surface of Democratic presidential candidate’s wooing of San Diego’s youth prior to sold-out Convention Center rally

Padres front office praises promotions department’s decision to distribute rally towels during opening series

Padre prescience

“The Padres have always prided themselves on their promotional prowess,” said General Manager AJ Preller in a postgame news conference following the team’s 15-0 drubbing at the hands of the Los Angeles Dodgers on opening ...

Padres General Manager dismisses criticisms of team’s lackluster performance

“Look, we already have a new stadium.”

Postgame Preller: “If you give a dog a bone, he’s not gonna want to go fetch now, is he? Go yell at the Chargers. We’re perfectly happy the way things are, and in the end, ...

Padres’ opening day starter takes a drubbing on the field and online

Instagr-OUCH!

A screenshot from the Instagram account of Padres starting pitcher Tyson Ross, who was chased in the sixth inning after the Dodgers scored five runs on five consecutive hits. Even teammate Matt Kemp chimed in ...

Special advertising section

Whether it’s that horrid barbarian Donald Trump, that dreadful socialist Bernie Sanders, that trollish zealot Ted Cruz, or that pantsed harpy Hillary Clinton, you won’t want to face the next four years without a good, ...

SeaWorld reveals new logo after dead whale found on Torrey Pines beach

Whale fail

“Every great civilization has been built on the backs of the exploited,” began SeaWorld spokesman Robert Orcant at the press conference revealing the theme park’s new logo, which depicts the dead juvenile gray whale that ...

Republican rabble-rouser ruins Romney’s return

Titanic Trump trounces La Jolla lightweight in first-ever use of party’s pugilistic political process

MOURNING FOR THE FUTURE OF HIS PARTY AND HIS COUNTRY, 30 FEET BELOW GROUND — “Looking back,” says Mitt Romney from within the security of the concrete bunker underneath his palatial La Jolla home, “it’s ...

Trump promises solution to “Green Tide”

Arresting avian arrivals

Donald Trump took a break from his campaign today to address an issue close to his heart: immigration. Specifically, the immigration of Mexican parrot populations to San Diego and other California cities. Speaking before a ...

Locavores put spotlight on recent trend of game bird delicacies in San Diego restaurants

Fresh foul

Pemberton Throckmorton III, food critic for the hipster bible, San Diego Farthuffer Monthly, is just wild about OB Warehouse chef Brian Kelly's latest creation, the generically named — and totally local —Greens ’n Bird. "San ...

Parrots make it so you cannot hear the Faulconer at mayoral press conference on conure killings

Squawk beats talk

Transcription of statement from Mayor Faulconer regarding the recent spate of parrocides: “The City of San Diego has long prided itself on SQUAWK SQUAWK SQUAAAAAWWK, and a major component of that SQUAWK has been the ...

Rash of local wild parrot killings continues in Ocean Beach/Point Loma

Polly want a pellet?

STARING INTO THE SKY CRYING “WHY” AND THEN GETTING SHAT ON, POINT LOMA — The remorseless killer of the wild ring-faced conures that have graced the early daylight hours of Ocean Beach, Point Loma and ...

The Trump-et sounds

The Donald responds to local lawsuit as only he can

Recently, Federal Judge Gonzalo Curiel ruled that a San Diego-based class-action lawsuit against Republican presidential hopeful Donald Trump’s real-estate educational program, Trump University, could move forward, raising the possibility of a presidential candidate being forced ...

Corporate craft culture

Big Coffee, Big Juice, and maybe even Big Water follow Big Beer’s invasion of San Diego’s craft scene

When MillerCoors bought Saint Archer Brewing for $35 million, fans of San Diego’s craft beer community grumbled, but consoled themselves with the thought that Saint Archer was always about the money, anyway. But when Constellation ...

SeaWorld releases images of planned interactive exhibit as it prepares to phase out orca shows

Under the sea!

In a move that seemed to contradict the tenets of both business and common sense, SeaWorld Entertainment recently promoted San Diego SeaWorld President John Reilly to oversee all of the company’s theme parks. “John has ...

Pope Francis caps visit to Mexico by smuggling himself into the United States

Pilgrimage to the Promised Land?

Throughout his reign, Pope Francis has sought to emphasize the Catholic church’s outreach to the poor and suffering of the world, and his recent visit to Mexico gave him ample opportunity to do just that. ...

Who Plays Who: Filner Takedown Edition

In Crimes and Misdemeanors, Martin Landau plays a man wrestling with guilt over his sexual misconduct and its disastrous consequences. Former Mayor Bob Filner’s sexual misconduct included wrestling women into headlocks; his confession of guilt ...

Beelzebub parts ways with San Diego televangelist Morris Cerullo

No sympathy from the devil?

“Let me make one thing clear at the outset,” says Beelzebub, Lord of the Flies and one of the Seven Princes of Hell. “I am, and always will be, a big fan of the Prosperity ...

San Diego Tourism Authority unveils $10 million national campaign on behalf of city

One last look?

For decades, says San Diego Tourism Authority director Wanda West, “Americans from every state and travelers from all over the world have chosen San Diego as a vacation destination. They come for the theme parks ...

State of the city

A look back

Last month, San Diego Mayor Kevin “Cheer Captain” Faulconer gave his annual State of the City address, which he concluded by saying, “San Diego, this is how we build our future. Let’s keep moving.” The ...

D.A. Dumanis explains decision to call in outside consultant in Nehad shooting incident

The talking head

On January 18, inewsource.org reported that "of the 155 police-involved shootings since 2005... the investigation of the fatal shooting of an unarmed man in April in San Diego’s Midway District represents the only time the ...

SDG&E announces branding partnership with Universal’s Illumination Entertainment

Attempting to “minionate” a spate of bad PR?

STILL REELING FROM THE DISCOVERY THAT MINIONS IS THE #11 ALL-TIME BIGGEST FILM WORLDWIDE, SAN ONOFRE — “It all started with that meddling busybody Darrel Issa and his namby-pamby Bill 3643,” says SDG&E Head of ...

SeaWorld’s Shamu Experience takes over vacated Qualcomm Stadium

Breeding room?

“After the Chargers left, Qualcomm was a big empty bowl,” says SeaWorld head of killer whale breeding Bee S. DeWitt. “Meanwhile, our orcas weren’t being allowed to breed because of our insufficiently large storage facilities. ...

Who Plays Who: Mission Edition

Movie actor Philip Seymour Hoffman portrayed the charismatic leader of an outlawed organization in The Master before ultimately being undone by drugs. El Chapo was the charismatic leader of an organization of drug outlaws before ...

School of Creative and Performing Arts students adapt I, Claudius for the present day

Art imitates life

Trod Boards, director of the San Diego School of Creative and Performing Arts theater program, is excited. What’s more, he’s excited to tell you why. "Robert Graves’ masterful historical novel I, Claudius, which was famously ...

FanDuel sets up fantasy betting platform for which NFL team(s) wind(s) up in Los Angeles

Fantasty football franchise forecasting

“No one is suggesting that when people say they love football, what they really mean is they love gambling on football,” says FanDuel.com head of press placation Bud Chance. “But the fact remains that everything ...

Pfizer buys naming rights for new Los Angeles NFL franchise

Penetrating offense + rock solid defense = victory

"Football has always been the sexiest sport,” says Pfizer head of brand development Sam Stuffer. "The whole point is the conquest of territory, forcing your opponent to yield to your power. You’ve got positions like ...

Spanos family praises Chargers Coach McCoy for deft 2015 performance

Breaking up is hard to do

Fans who were curious as to the Chargers’ decision to retain seemingly hapless head coach Mike McCoy following the team’s dismal performance in 2015 (and 2014, and 2013…) got some measure of explanation today from ...

Chargers balloon breaks loose at Holiday Bowl parade

Somewhere over the rain clouds?

PEERING INTO THE BLANK AND SUNLESS SKY, WONDERING WHAT IT COULD POSSIBLY MEAN, EMBARCADERO — On December 30, San Diego’s waterfront was once again host to the biggest balloon parade in the country (recently rechristened ...

District Attorney Dumanis provides audio commentary for police shooting video

"Mistakes were made."

Last April, San Diego police officer Neal Browder shot and killed 42-year-old Fridoon Nehad in an alleyway. A surveillance camera captured the shooting, but district attorney Bonnie Dumanis, who decided that Browder’s use of deadly ...

RIP 2015

Talking to the ghosts of San Diego about the year that was

Pete Wilson's statue on politics? Shamu on SeaWorld! Bill Kolender on law enforcement! Karl Strauss on craft beer! And Jack Murphy on the stadium!

Spy vs. Spy?

Department of Homeland Security’s surveillance of private emails credited with discovery of Border Patrol agent’s hidden camera voyeurism

Last week, former Border Patrol agent Armando Gonzalez was sentenced to 21 months in federal prison for planting a hidden camera in the women’s restroom at a Chula Vista Border Patrol facility. The camera, which ...

NFL = No Family Love?

City Attorney opens abuse investigation into Chargers

Anyone who has watched an NFL game this season has seen a "Football is Family" ad extolling the ways that pro football and pro football fandom can help bring people together, solve problems, provide comfort, ...

Chicken of the Sea and Bumble Bee Tuna call off announced merger, citing “logo loggerheads”

Conscious unmergering

HANGING OUT AT THE DOCKS, GAZING WISTFULLY OUT TO SEA, EMBARCADERO — “Business is funny,” says Bumblebee Tuna Chief Operating Officer Royal Jelly. “Sometimes, you think you have everything in place to make a huge ...

Jimmy Hat? No, Jiminy Hat!

Rise in STDs traced to hopeful cricket

Earlier this month, San Diego County Department of Health and Human Services reported that, for the third straight year, sexually transmitted disease rates had seen double-digit increases. "Gonorrhea is up 16%,” says Department spokesperson Peter ...

Paris : Beirut :: San Diego : Africa?

Activists bemoan lopsided media coverage of rhino crisis

In late November, Nola — one of the last Northern white rhinos in existence — was euthanized at the San Diego Zoo after doctors proved unable to contain an infection stemming from an abscess in ...

Rates! Set! Hike!

Water rate increase necessitated by city’s stadium proposal?

As of November 30, the San Diego City Council has approved the Municipal Water District’s plan to raise water rates 41 percent over the next five years. “If we don’t raise rates,” says City Council ...

San Diego Unified School District considers solution to problem of gender expression and bathrooms

Parts is parts

According to the San Diego Unified School District's policy regarding Nondiscrimination of Transgender Students, "all persons, including students, have a right to privacy; this includes keeping a student's actual or perceived gender identity and gender ...

Ballast Point reassures customers following $1 billion sale to Constellation

"Nothing will change."

Statement from Ballast Point brewmeister Hanz Grabbencoin: Ballast Point Brewing & Spirits started in the back of a home-brew supply store, and we promise not to forget that, now that we've been bought by the ...

La Jolla welcomes Republican hopeful Ben Carson at fundraiser

Uncommon common ground

"Honestly, it's been the most refreshing experience," said Millicent Guzzlethwaite of La Jolla's Muirlands West neighborhood following a fundraising presentation by Republican Presidential candidate Ben Carson in the La Jolla Country Club's Throckmorton Ballroom. "First, ...

Pea-NUTS

Offbeat director David Lynch picked to helm sequel to hit film

The Peanuts movie took in $45 million dollars in its opening weekend, a strong showing which naturally had producers talking sequel by Monday morning. But in a surprise turn, Blue Sky Studios has tapped David ...

SeaWorld announces plans for resort, restaurant in wake of closed orca exhibit

Angus of the Sea?

On November 9, Sea World San Diego announced its plan to phase out its famous killer whale shows, following years of protests, legal setbacks, and trainer swallowings. Instead, the park will feature an orca-themed exhibit, ...

"An honest mistake."

California Attorney General says no charges to be filed in case of state trooper who shot man dressed as San Diego police officer

Yesterday, California Attorney General Kamala Harris announced that, following an in-depth investigation, no charges would be filed against California State Trooper Trigger Finger. Finger shot and killed San Diego resident Ronaldo Innocent as he exited ...

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