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Stories by Josh Board

Wrestling Nicole

Nora, a local singer, told me that Ike Turner’s old band was going to play a party in La Jolla. I showed up that afternoon and met Steph Johnson, another local musician. She was waiting ...

They'd Think I Had 'Roid Rage

A friend of mine saw a guy walking two dogs downtown. He had the biggest arms she had ever seen. The guy is Paul-Jean Guillaume: Mr. Universe in 1987. The same year, he competed in ...

Speaking of Drugs

I attended a play Margaret wrote when she was at UCSD a few years back, and when I found out about an event she was organizing at Thomas Jefferson School of Law, I thought I’d ...

Neighborhood Watch

I attended two parties in one night, though both of them started early in the evening. I hoped the second one would run late. The first was at Brick by Brick. Astra Kelly, a DJ ...

Mystery Meat

There were a couple of video-release parties I hit downtown. The first was for a band called Crash Encore. It was a video-premiere party for their song “Stormy Weather” at the Buzz Clothing Warehouse on ...

Crazy Enough

There’s been a buzz about Grand Ole Party for a while now. The band recently released their first CD, Humanimals. The artwork was done by local artist Kelsey Brookes. The band’s previous EP also featured ...

Be My Thumper

I was talking to a musician at a club and he said, “Have you ever been to a pole party? I know about one next weekend.” A few things entered my mind: with the primaries ...

It's Not Really Ink

I walked into Body Marks Tattoo and Piercing on El Cajon Boulevard, a few blocks from the 805 and right next to a strip club. At night, hookers are walking the streets. A perfect setting ...

Leap Day

I heard from a friend of a friend about a leap-year party in Clairemont. I brought a few of my friends who are in their late 20s. I didn’t think there was much of a ...

And the Oscar Goes to...

I went to an Oscar party at Sunset Cliffs in O.B. The affair was a potluck, and I stopped at a grocery store to pick up a cake. A few days earlier, when I was ...

Manson's Minions

The sold-out February 25 Marilyn Manson show at House of Blues had its share of weirdness. A few couples dressed in leather S&M outfits. Many in the crowd dressed like Marilyn Manson, looking like raccoons ...

Aquaman Honored

When I heard about a party at “Grandma’s,” I didn’t think it would be something that I’d tell my buddies about the next day. Grandma BB’s Hilltop Hideaway is in Oceanside, and the Southern California ...

Knock Knock

I went to North Park for a Super Bowl party. Getting there an hour before the game started scored me seats in front of the big screen. They had another TV set up in the ...

Brothel Bash

I got a call about a party in Stockton but thought it was too far to drive. I was tempted, however, when I heard the warehouse was going to be decorated as a brothel. Ken ...

Painful Pirouette

When football season was in full swing, there was a surprise birthday party for Tony. He had just gotten back from Iraq. It was in Del Cerro, and I arrived after Tony showed up. Tony’s ...

Turn It Up

I got word that Paul was having a party for the Chargers game. I looked for my Green Bay Packers shirt but couldn’t find it. I settled for wearing a Chargers cap. I brought cupcakes ...

Urban Pulses

Whenever I hear the name Ian, I think of the singer of Jethro Tull. Or my friend’s grandfather, who knew everything about sports. He was like Rain Man with statistics. If you were talking about ...

A Few Funny Men

Some friends and I decided to crash the Comedy Palace on Clairemont Mesa Boulevard to check out the comedians. We talked our way into the club and I somehow ended up backstage with a few ...

Poor Folk

When Rickie Lee Jones played the Belly Up Tavern on January 5, a person in the audience was overheard saying, "Wow, she's fat! She's a bad looking 52." Another guy said, "Chunky's in love," a ...

Soccer Moms Are the Absolute Worst

Adults — wild cards in kids' games

At the Mira Mesa Recreation Center, playing for my fifth-grade youth basketball team, I watched as my coach threw a chair onto the court in anger. On another occasion, the referee threw my coach out ...

Binocular Envy

I heard about a jungle-themed party in National City. I put on a pair of khaki shorts and a jungle shirt that my mom gave me years ago. I’d worn it only once before. I ...

Dr. Robin Hood

One breast implant was punctured three weeks into his practice. Saline shot into the air.

Silky Smooth

I went to parties at two different bars. I was told there would be food at the first one — Hamilton's Tavern in South Park. When I got there with my friends, however, the food ...

Drinko Plinko

When I was a kid my mom complained about Christmas starting earlier each year. It wasn't because she was Jewish. We had a Christmas tree and a menorah. I think she felt that it was ...

Spare a smoke?

A couple weeks ago I missed several parties because I was sick. One guy called from Mira Mesa when he noticed his neighbor was having a party. Glad I missed that -- there was a ...

Just Pakoras

My stepdad was at a meeting and my mom called to ask what I was doing. I told her I was going to crash the reception of an Indian wedding. My mom loves weddings -- ...

Goatfest 2007

I got word of a party called "Goatfest 2007." As I drove into the P.B. neighborhood, I saw a party being broken up by the police. It wasn't the one I was looking for, though.There ...

Splendor in the Glass

It was nice to go to two events that were in close proximity. The first was a glass art show in Balboa Park called "Splendor in the Glass." There were a couple of musicians playing ...

Gypsies, Tramps, and Skis

On Saturday, October 27, there were several more Halloween parties to crash. I planned to hit two or three... The first one I got wind of was in Encinitas. It started early, and as I ...

6six6

I heard of about 20 different parties over the two weekends before Halloween. Most of them were cancelled because of the fires. The first weekend, I had intended on going to four of the parties ...

Tiki Time

One sunny day a few months ago I went to a tiki party in Escondido.

Get in My Belly

I got a call about a belly-dance party in Spring Valley. I'm sure my neighbors heard my car tires burn rubber. When I arrived, the place was SRO. I found space in the kitchen with ...

The $180,000 Fender

"I was pretty shocked that [Tommy Lee] would call me at 10 a.m. on his birthday."

Shocking!

On FM94/9 last Thursday, before his Satellite Party show, Perry Farrell said that he doesn't surf anymore because he lost his board. He mentioned that he might surf again if someone gave him a board. ...

Fantasy Trash Talk

Before football season started, Dan invited me to his fantasy football draft party. I'm in a fantasy league and was curious to see how others ran theirs. I checked out their website -- "Williams World ...

Cop Breaks Speedo Limit

I got an invite to a party in Santee. I was told there'd be a band called Mudwolf playing in the back yard. I figured, hey, I love Steppenwolf...and Wolfmother. Odds are I'll like this ...

Get Out of Here!

When Deep Purple played 4th&B on August 16, I hoped they wouldn't play "Smoke on the Water," which I consider one of the worst songs of all time. How could they not, though? That riff ...

Bartenders' Ball

I overheard a bartender at the Ould Sod talking about a party at Hotel Solamar downtown. I jotted the date on a napkin, and the following Monday, drove down to crash it. I knew there ...

Back to School

Continuing on my 20-year Mira Mesa High School reunion... I ran into Sebastian, who was in my kindergarten class. He was with his wife, and as we were chatting about the recent Beatles show LOVE, ...

My Bag

I met a guy at a party six months ago who told me that he had crashed his high school reunion. My 20-year reunion was coming up, and I decided to do the same. I ...

Poster Chide

After Macy Gray's 4th & B show on August 19, some friends and I went to a bar downtown. When we were leaving at around 1 a.m., Gray's tour bus was stopped at a hotel ...

Bark Fest

Earlier this year, I attended a couple of business affairs. At an afternoon party, Muttropolis in La Jolla had a spread of food -- corn on the cob, grilled ribs and burgers. Upon closer inspection, ...

Boards and Bones

Driving home from Vegas, I got into San Marcos around 10:00 p.m. I drove by a house that had festive lights glowing in the back yard and several cars parked in front.I went home, took ...

Party Hoppers

Driving home from Vegas, I got into San Marcos around 10:00 p.m. I drove by a house that had festive lights glowing in the back yard and several cars parked in front.I went home, took ...

International Man of Partying

I grew up in Mira Mesa and played basketball at USIU off of Miramar Road. Kids of different races played in that gym. The idea of an "international" university seemed cool. I had never heard ...

Ferrell Laughed

"I don't know. I think they were called Krunk. They didn't last long."

Naked Sandwich

I was contacted by a guy who runs a nudist camp. He asked me to be a judge in an American Idol-style competition called "Ultimate Idol." The winner would get an iPod and go to ...

Cirrhosis of the River

Over the years I've been writing this column, I can't recall crashing a bachelor party. Whenever I've gone to friends' bachelor parties, there was a strict rule about cameras. This stemmed from a friend who ...

Cups and Cakes

I got two phone calls from two different people about Dana's 21st birthday party. The two callers assured me that it would be a swanky affair at a mansion in Poway. There was a tram ...

The Artist Formerly Known as President

I interviewed a Point Loma resident who had crashed 20 Super Bowls. What surprised me more than his success at crashing the games was that he once crashed an event for President Clinton. He got ...