Fiesta omelet: $19.95 with shredded beef, potatoes, pancakes. No bacon, still worth it.

Man, it seems everybody’s going to Lemon Grove these days (See Ian Anderson’s recent El Pollo Grill review from 12/21/23). Me, I’m here with my true love Diane and my friend Tim. What we’re searching for is nothing less than The Biggest Omelet In The West. Why Tim? We first met in National City, in the tented Covid-era street space of FHOP — Family House of Pancakes, the now-60-year-old competition for IHOP. (IHOP started in 1958, FHOP in 1964.) And the thing we discovered was the size of FHOP’s omelets. Tim swore that FHOP put at least 6-8 eggs into each one. And on top of that, they delivered! But soon after we found it, FHOP lost the rights to its location. Only now, two and a half years later, have we found it again — here in its new Lemon Grove location.

Tim fears that something may have been lost in the move. “Mark my words,” he says as we walk up towards this low-slung, ‘60s-era building. “This FHOP’s omelets won’t be as big. They can’t be! Not after these last years. Covid? Inflation? Ukraine? Look at every eatery in town! Prices up, sizes down. They’ll be serving standard-sized two-egg omelets.” I sympathize with his concern, but still hold on to hope.

Seeing as how it’s a nice Wednesday mawnin’, we decide to set down at one of the half-dozen tables set up outside on the narrow balcony. We’re situated on the edge of Lemon Grove’s downtown, looking out over that beautiful St. John of the Cross church with its blue-domed tower. A glamorously made-up waitress named Marilyn hands out these yuge menus: pages and pages, and, like the whole place, all fresh and new.

As he reads through it, Tim starts rethinking his two-egg prophecy. “Thing I’ve always liked about these FHOP people,” he says, “is they’re not mean with their food. The place I used to work at, they got so penny-pinching they’d freeze their bacon, then slice it paper-thin. You can do that when it’s frozen. You could see the light shine through!”

Marilyn comes back out. “Do you need more time?” she asks. You betcha. First thing to recognize: this place might be in a new location, but it is definitely old-school. We’re talking cholesterol city. On the other hand, hopefully, we’re also talking the comforting presence of per-lenty on your plate, with tons left over for seconds back home tomorrow. And the range of choice is la-arge. First temptation: “A stack of pineapple and coconut battered pancakes, topped with sautéed pineapple and toasted coconut.” Yum. Costs $14.50 for four. Plus, they have a bunch of sandwiches, along with Mexican breakfast dishes, scrambles, Eggs Benedicts...the list goes on.

You get 3 pancakes with your omelet because, hey, this is FHOP.

Finally, after pages of pancakes, waffles, and crepes (all in a price range of $10-20), the omelet section gets a little fanfare all its own: “World-Famous Omelettes.”

“There it is!” Tim stabs his finger at the menu. “Same one I have always gotten: the California.” He’s looking at the first choice on the list: “California Omelette, with bacon, cheese, avocado and tomato, $18.25.” That’s about the average price. Still, if you think of it as two meals (half at home tomorrow), it doesn’t feel so bad. So long as the quantity’s there.

“Trust me, we still use 6-8 eggs per omelet,” Marilyn says.

“Yeah, but are your chickens still laying the same-size eggs as your National City chickens?” asks Tim, before adding, “Kidding.” But he ain’t kidding about the spuds. He finds out they use russet potatoes. “Russet? They’re no good for me. I’m diabetic now. If you guys would only use red-skinned potatoes, we diabetics could eat them.” He sighs. “So meantime, I’ll have fruit.”

They have a long omelet list, but the Spanish Omelette, with ham, cheese, bell peppers ($17.50); the Italian Sausage Omelette ($17.50); and the Fiesta Omelette — which Marilyn says is the biggest — stick out. Hmm. Fiesta, biggest. What it lacks in bacon, it makes up in shredded beef. Heck, size matters. I go for that, even though it’s $19.95 (with a side of homestyle potatoes and a couple of pancakes). Diane goes for the California.

“Okay,” says Tim, looking down at his California when it arrives. “Just as big. Gotta hand it to them. Third generation family! Can’t beat it.” As for mine, it is truly ginormous, oozing sour cream around oodles of shredded beef, cheese, avo, tomatoes and onion. I ain’t going hungry. Still, I regret not having the California, because of that healthy dose of thick, wicked bacon. (I get a taste from the lovely Diane, and yes, that bacon add is priceless.) But all in all, with the potatoes, and sparked up by plenty of onions, mine is still a heckuva deal.

Diane, who is of the Nuts and Twigs persuasion, nods that it tastes good, but says something about “empty food making us fat.” Still, she chomps on. Meanwhile, I’m reading about where da heck “omelet” comes from? Turns out the name shares an origin with words like “laminated,” meaning “thinned out,” from the days when flat omelets were the rage. They say they first came from Persia, where cooks would make savory dishes based on beaten eggs. Since the 1500s, Kuku Sabzi has been a kind of Persian quiche which, they say, was the father of the omelet.

Huh. Now, I’m reading the menu blurb. It’s talking about Jim and Madeline Spezzano, who started this place in 1964. “Dad died in 1967,” writes their son. “Mom died in 2003, but her and our father’s belief that CONSISTENCY and a GOOD PRODUCT GENEROUSLY GIVEN lives on today.” Have to say “Hear Hear!” to that. I pack my uneaten half, feeling like a fat happy Buddha. “We’re coming back, dudes,” I say to Tim and Diane. “Because, hey: still six to eight eggs! Ain’t everything’s changed in this town.”

“I’ll remember this,” Tim says, “as the place where I ate my words.”

The Place: Family House of Pancakes, 8053 Broadway, Lemon Grove. 619-477-3197 

Hours: 7am-2pm daily

Prices: Pineapple and coconut battered pancakes, $14.50 for four; apple waffle, $14.50; grandma’s buckwheat waffle, $11.75; banana Nutella French toast, $15.50; sausage and eggs, $16.25; corned beef hash and eggs, $16.50; mini breakfast (2 bacon or sausage, one egg, pancake or toast), $11.50; California Omelette (bacon, cheese, avo), $18.25; Spanish Omelette (ham, cheese), $17.50; Fiesta Omelette (shredded beef, cheese, avo, sour cream), $19.95

Buses: 856

Nearest Bus Stop: Broadway and Washington

Trolleys: Orange Line

Nearest Trolley Stop: Lemon Grove