With sunset views like that, who needs a lively interior color scheme?

It’s not often that we tour condos here at Unreal. A lot of that is due to the relative newness of San Diego. With the bulk of West Coast development occurring after the advent of the automobile, it’s almost always been easy for our wealthiest denizens to settle far from the city’s urban core: in seaside towns like La Jolla and Del Mar, or in secluded semi-rural enclaves like Rancho Santa Fe. As a result, not much residential development occurred near downtown beyond the first few decades of the city’s life, and for years, what was there was largely designed for the working class rather than the millionaire set.

Obviously, that’s changed over the last 20 years, as low-rent single-room-occupancy hotels have been demolished en masse and their residents have been tossed into the streets to make way for new luxury high-rises that are held up as the shining beacons of “urban revitalization” success. Even so, with untimely construction schedules leading to a glut of inventory dumped on market right at the peak of the Great Recession, the downtown market seems only now to be regaining its footing, nearly a decade after the last housing bust.

A clear-case staircase for minimal view-blockage.

This week, however, we’re going to move slightly east: to the edge of Balboa Park, where Zillow agent remarks invite us to “Live in the epitome of luxury atop the iconic Park Laurel in a stunning two-story penthouse that has been completely customized to combine classic opulence and modern feel.” The listing goes on to invite us to “step off the private elevator onto solid Brazilian quartzite slab floors and into this lavish Penthouse with show-stopping custom lighting features including a custom-made droplet chandelier that sits next to a floating staircase with specialty brass and glass accents.” Online, however, our tour begins in the living room, with a massive TV floating over a three-sided fireplace that separates living room from dining room. A wall of windows against the back wall offers a nice skyline view, though.

I think the next photo we see may be the aforementioned elevator foyer; the floors aren’t incredibly impressive, but the staircase off in the distance does look unique. And are these glowing orbs that seem to stretch all the way down to the floor the chandelier mentioned in the listing? Maybe. We do come next to a close-up of the glass-lined stairs, and it looks like the lights are sitting just behind them, in a room that contains nothing save for a grand piano and a bookcase. This looks to be a nook tucked off of the living room we saw before, so at least there’s somewhere within earshot where someone could sit and listen to a pianist perform.

The dining room comes next, and has its own unique lighting fixture, along with “a one-of-a-kind refrigerated wine wall featuring a semi-precious stone wall” that appears to be a fancier version of several convenience store reach-in refrigerators strung together. Next up is the “professional grade kitchen with rare Italian Calcatta counters, [long list of high-end appliances], and a dual-temp True beverage fridge.” I don’t know what the latter is, or why I would need a fridge that alters the temperature of my beverages to anything other than “cold,” but both the range and massive center island occupy more real estate on their own than the entire square footage of my kitchen. So that’s impressive.

Let’s head outside to the “large balcony [that] hovers above America’s largest urban park spanning over 1200 acres (Balboa Park) and showcases the incredible views of San Diego.” I don’t know who needs to be reminded that if we’re talking about a big park in San Diego it’s probably going to be Balboa, but there are indeed some nice views from out here. Heading back inside, we make a quick stop at the downstairs powder room before moving on to the upstairs hall, where even more of those pendant lights dangle above a glass rail looking down into what I assume is the living room. The next shot is of another elevator — I’m assuming this one is a private two-story affair within the unit and not a continuation of the larger lift that brought us up from the building lobby.

Up here, we’ve got three of the unit’s four bedrooms, along with an extra laundry room — apparently, there was also one on the first floor that we missed. Most of these bedrooms are just fine: they’re well-appointed, but not screaming loudly about the wealth of someone who could retire to them. The primary suite, however, has its own sitting area with a giant TV around the corner from the bed area, along with an egg-shaped freestanding tub that the listing describes as “a specialized weightlessness bath,” and a walk-in closet with row after row of shoes and purses resting on their own backlit display shelves. I do like how the wooden closet doors blend into the walls, and it seems some of the best park views come from some of the extra bedrooms, but I wonder if “weightlessness bath” is just a fancy way of saying that people tend to float in water.

“Park Laurel is a highly sought-after luxury residence situated in the infamous Bankers Hill featuring 24-hour security, concierge, sun deck with pool/spa and BBQ area, and a state-of-the-art fitness center,” the listing concludes. (Perhaps because the neighborhood is “infamous,” you’re going to have to be prepared to pony up nearly $2200 a month in HOA fees for those conveniences.) “Live a life of luxury in this one-of-a-kind trophy property in the heart of San Diego.”

Public records list a Fadia Vance as owner of the Park Laurel penthouse; it last sold in 2019 for a reported $2.65 million. The unit went back on market in mid-January; the asking price of $14,995,000 remains unchanged to date.

• 2500 Sixth Avenue, Penthouse 4 | San Diego, 92103
• Current owner: Fadia Vance | Listing price: $14,995,000 | Beds: 4 | Baths: 5 | House size: 5000 sq ft