Take this shot, drink this drink, look like this, join the club! Like Steve Rogers, Kyle Mullen took performance enhancing drugs in order to better serve his country. He made it through Hell Week with the Navy SEALs, but died just hours later. About 40 of his fellow SEAL candidates either tested positive for or admitted using substances designed to help them endure the brutal training regimen.

“It’s sad, but not surprising,” said SEALs Director of Cleanup Ray Warcost of frequent performance-enhancing drug use on the part of Navy SEAL candidates, discovered in the wake of successful candidate Kyle Mullen’s death just hours after completing his Basic Underwater Demolition/SEAL course. “Our Iron Man initiative is still going about as well as those test videos shown during the Congressional hearing in Iron Man 2, and Operation Hulk Mad continues to just reduce test subjects — mostly monkeys, I should note — to piles of radioactive ash. So far, the Super Soldier Serum is clearly the most feasible of the Avengers-based efforts that are so central to many young Americans’ interest in our Military Creation of Ubermenschen program, or MCU.

And until we get something that can be reliably administered, I fear you’re going to continue seeing these unfortunate cases of ambitious young men taking matters into their own hands on the way to becoming superheroes, er, Navy SEALs. I mean, we’ll investigate, but a big part of war is seizing every possible advantage. How can we discourage something just because it’s dangerous? It’s war!”