Translation: "Federal Bureau of Investigation Recreation Association for Some of my best friends are bald!"

The location is being withheld to protect the guilty, and staffers’ names are similarly excised, but a recent audit of a certain Federal Bureau of Investigation Recreation Association pulls few other punches.

Though not generally known to the public, the bureau's nonprofit recreation associations are high-dollar ventures, selling FBI-branded clothing, belts, hats, and other gear to those with a law-enforcement bent.

In San Diego, the association's highest profile event is an annual golf outing in the fall at Poway's Maderas Golf Club, said by the group to raise money for charity.

"Help us make this SOMBFAB for Rady Children’s’ Hospital (Some of my best friends are bald!) Tournament sell out — we're only a few foursomes away from a full field," says the event's Facebook page.

John Garcia, listed online as the FBI contact for the tournament, said by phone last week he was unable to discuss the recreation association’s operations or provide financial disclosure reports required by law. He said someone else would be in touch, but there has been no subsequent response.

The May audit, conducted by the Justice Department’s Inspector g0eneral, notes that although each association "is ostensibly independent of the FBI, it operates on FBI property under FBI rules and benefits from its location on FBI property and its association with the FBI name."

The associations "sell FBI-emblazoned merchandise to raise proceeds to fund events for the employees assigned to their respective Field Divisions."

But bad news emerged last year, "after the FBI Inspection Division conducted a preliminary audit of one of the [recreation associations] in May 2015” and found that “the president and vice president (both of whom were FBI employees at the time) were using their personal credit cards to purchase inventory” for sale by the association. The two were subsequently reimbursed in cash.

During the three-year period from January 2012 through May 2015, $668,000 of reimbursements were paid to the two unnamed employees, according to the report.

The pair's motive, say auditors, was personal financial interest.

"We believe that the decision by the president and vice president to use their personal credit cards to fund the [association] store was motivated at least in part by the benefit they received in the form of credit card reward points."

As a result, "The president amassed approximately 350,000 reward points during his tenure," and "the vice president likewise obtained approximately 309 ‘reward dollars.’"

Note auditors, "They both appeared to use these for personal travel or other purposes." There were also cash benefits to be had.

"Although we were able, by reconstructing the records, to determine that most of the reimbursements were justified, we determined that the president received approximately $20,000 in reimbursements from the [association] to which he was not entitled," the audit says.

"Additionally, we found that the vice president received $6,190.99."

The auditors say they "did not find sufficient evidence to conclude that the president intentionally misappropriated" the funds for his own benefit, concluding personal error was at fault.

"We found that the process the president and vice president had in place to obtain reimbursements had no safeguards to catch the numerous mistakes he and the vice president made."

But when asked to refund the over-reimbursement, the vice president balked.

"Instead, he claimed that the fact that these funds cannot be reconciled is a record keeping failure that he could not address because he did not keep the records. We disagree. The vice president wrote his own reimbursement checks and should have been able to document the [association] related expenses for which he reimbursed himself.

"Consequently, while the president shares some responsibility for the unaccounted for $6,190, the primary fault lies with the vice president because he failed to maintain records supporting his issuance of reimbursement checks to himself."

Making matters worse, the report says, the pair "each inappropriately obtained reimbursement" from the association "for interest charged to their personal credit cards."

The audit says, "The president received $3,555.82 and the vice president $917.02 in reimbursement of such interest…attributable to both their personal purchases and to purchases they made on behalf of [the association].”

The two were also accused of using the nonprofit’s money "to benefit individuals whom they perceived might provide a financial benefit" to the nonprofit.

In one case, the recreation association "paid the entrance fee of an FBI employee to attend an FBI National Academy event and provided uniforms to the Field Division’s Firearms Training Unit" to help "sell merchandise to non-FBI individuals, such as other law enforcement agents and civilians participating in the FBI’s Citizen Academy and FBI Explorers group."

Observes the audit, "It was not part of [the association’s] mission to use its funds to support unrelated activities in the hope that participants will spend more money at [the association’s] store or to pay for parties for departing FBI managers.”

Additionally, the nonprofit "paid $2000 to purchase bagels and coffee when the FBI Director visited the Field Division and paid for refreshments for a management meeting with a local community organization." According to the document, "senior FBI officials” pressured the group to "fund official events."

Concludes the audit, "We recommend that the FBI adopt the new policy it is drafting to ensure that all of the recreation associations are following state and federal not-for-profit laws," and forbid "board members from using personal financial instruments or accounts, such as credit cards or cash, to make purchases on behalf of or in connection with" the associations.