Anchor ads are not supported on this page.

4S Ranch Allied Gardens Alpine Baja Balboa Park Bankers Hill Barrio Logan Bay Ho Bay Park Black Mountain Ranch Blossom Valley Bonita Bonsall Borrego Springs Boulevard Campo Cardiff-by-the-Sea Carlsbad Carmel Mountain Carmel Valley Chollas View Chula Vista City College City Heights Clairemont College Area Coronado CSU San Marcos Cuyamaca College Del Cerro Del Mar Descanso Downtown San Diego Eastlake East Village El Cajon Emerald Hills Encanto Encinitas Escondido Fallbrook Fletcher Hills Golden Hill Grant Hill Grantville Grossmont College Guatay Harbor Island Hillcrest Imperial Beach Imperial Valley Jacumba Jamacha-Lomita Jamul Julian Kearny Mesa Kensington La Jolla Lakeside La Mesa Lemon Grove Leucadia Liberty Station Lincoln Acres Lincoln Park Linda Vista Little Italy Logan Heights Mesa College Midway District MiraCosta College Miramar Miramar College Mira Mesa Mission Beach Mission Hills Mission Valley Mountain View Mount Hope Mount Laguna National City Nestor Normal Heights North Park Oak Park Ocean Beach Oceanside Old Town Otay Mesa Pacific Beach Pala Palomar College Palomar Mountain Paradise Hills Pauma Valley Pine Valley Point Loma Point Loma Nazarene Potrero Poway Rainbow Ramona Rancho Bernardo Rancho Penasquitos Rancho San Diego Rancho Santa Fe Rolando San Carlos San Marcos San Onofre Santa Ysabel Santee San Ysidro Scripps Ranch SDSU Serra Mesa Shelltown Shelter Island Sherman Heights Skyline Solana Beach Sorrento Valley Southcrest South Park Southwestern College Spring Valley Stockton Talmadge Temecula Tierrasanta Tijuana UCSD University City University Heights USD Valencia Park Valley Center Vista Warner Springs

What we need is a musical cold war

Trade guns for violins and let the battle be joined

Get down! It's Berlioz's Requiem.
Get down! It's Berlioz's Requiem.
Video:

La Cabalgata de las Valkirias - Gustavo Dudamel

What if, instead of a military industrial complex, we had an arts industrial complex?

What if we had about a dozen for-profit, hard-core, unethical, manipulative corporations that ran music programs? I mean the dirty, money-hungry, grasping, infinite-growth type corporations.

Think about it — a battery of soulless lobbyists badgering congress to increase music funding contracts so that their corporate overlords can ram music down our throats. The media could start fear mongering us with the threat of illegal — so sorry — undocumented musical immigrants playing concerts in underground venues.

Sponsored
Sponsored

These corporations could game the system. The piano is out of tune? Get rid of it and bill the government for a new one. Your violin broke a string? Throw it away and order a new one. You don't need a new music hall? Whatever, we're building one anyway.

If we switch the opportunity from military to music then corporate pirates would take it and run. We need a musical cold war. We need a musical space race where the best minds on the planet are engaged in making the greatest music possible.

Who could be competed against, though? We don’t have a musical bad guy to focus on.

Oh yes, we do. Venezuela is the evil empire of classical music. Not really, but our media could quite easily make that case and then drive us bonkers with why we’re losing to Venezuela.

CNN/MSNBC/Fox News studio: Today Caracas has sent a clear message of aggression by opening a concert hall in Tijuana. Not since the Cuban Missile Crisis has the country been this on edge. The facility will train musicians which will invade our borders and undermine the music unions. These scab musicians have the tools to destroy the very fabric of our way of life. What’s the response? We look to Washington.

Washington Correspondent: Here in Washington, congressional leaders have been in secret meetings overnight determining the most effective course of action. National composers are being scrambled and operation Ring Around the Ring Cycle has been implemented. Using the leitmotifs from Wagner’s Der Ring der Nibelungen, composers of the United States are creating a sonic wall of such elaborate complexity that no non-U.S musician will have the skill or determination to perform it.

Studio: My God. It’s happening.

Washington: Yes. The mood here is somber. Our thoughts and prayers go out to all those brave souls currently in practice rooms preparing for the concerts of their life.

Studio: Goodnight and God bless us all.

Here's something you might be interested in.
Submit a free classified
or view all
Previous article

Looking back at race relations in Coronado

A former football player recalls the good and the bad
Next Article

Mid-range fleet scoring bluefin limits off Ensenada

Rockfish to open at all depths April 1st (no foolin’)
Get down! It's Berlioz's Requiem.
Get down! It's Berlioz's Requiem.
Video:

La Cabalgata de las Valkirias - Gustavo Dudamel

What if, instead of a military industrial complex, we had an arts industrial complex?

What if we had about a dozen for-profit, hard-core, unethical, manipulative corporations that ran music programs? I mean the dirty, money-hungry, grasping, infinite-growth type corporations.

Think about it — a battery of soulless lobbyists badgering congress to increase music funding contracts so that their corporate overlords can ram music down our throats. The media could start fear mongering us with the threat of illegal — so sorry — undocumented musical immigrants playing concerts in underground venues.

Sponsored
Sponsored

These corporations could game the system. The piano is out of tune? Get rid of it and bill the government for a new one. Your violin broke a string? Throw it away and order a new one. You don't need a new music hall? Whatever, we're building one anyway.

If we switch the opportunity from military to music then corporate pirates would take it and run. We need a musical cold war. We need a musical space race where the best minds on the planet are engaged in making the greatest music possible.

Who could be competed against, though? We don’t have a musical bad guy to focus on.

Oh yes, we do. Venezuela is the evil empire of classical music. Not really, but our media could quite easily make that case and then drive us bonkers with why we’re losing to Venezuela.

CNN/MSNBC/Fox News studio: Today Caracas has sent a clear message of aggression by opening a concert hall in Tijuana. Not since the Cuban Missile Crisis has the country been this on edge. The facility will train musicians which will invade our borders and undermine the music unions. These scab musicians have the tools to destroy the very fabric of our way of life. What’s the response? We look to Washington.

Washington Correspondent: Here in Washington, congressional leaders have been in secret meetings overnight determining the most effective course of action. National composers are being scrambled and operation Ring Around the Ring Cycle has been implemented. Using the leitmotifs from Wagner’s Der Ring der Nibelungen, composers of the United States are creating a sonic wall of such elaborate complexity that no non-U.S musician will have the skill or determination to perform it.

Studio: My God. It’s happening.

Washington: Yes. The mood here is somber. Our thoughts and prayers go out to all those brave souls currently in practice rooms preparing for the concerts of their life.

Studio: Goodnight and God bless us all.

Comments
Sponsored
Here's something you might be interested in.
Submit a free classified
or view all
Previous article

Tiny Home Central isn’t solving the San Diego housing crisis

But it does hope to help fill in the gaps
Next Article

Celebrate Holi, Borrego Springs Music Festival

Events March 23-March 27, 2024
Comments
Ask a Hipster — Advice you didn't know you needed Big Screen — Movie commentary Blurt — Music's inside track Booze News — San Diego spirits Classical Music — Immortal beauty Classifieds — Free and easy Cover Stories — Front-page features Drinks All Around — Bartenders' drink recipes Excerpts — Literary and spiritual excerpts Feast! — Food & drink reviews Feature Stories — Local news & stories Fishing Report — What’s getting hooked from ship and shore From the Archives — Spotlight on the past Golden Dreams — Talk of the town The Gonzo Report — Making the musical scene, or at least reporting from it Letters — Our inbox Movies@Home — Local movie buffs share favorites Movie Reviews — Our critics' picks and pans Musician Interviews — Up close with local artists Neighborhood News from Stringers — Hyperlocal news News Ticker — News & politics Obermeyer — San Diego politics illustrated Outdoors — Weekly changes in flora and fauna Overheard in San Diego — Eavesdropping illustrated Poetry — The old and the new Reader Travel — Travel section built by travelers Reading — The hunt for intellectuals Roam-O-Rama — SoCal's best hiking/biking trails San Diego Beer — Inside San Diego suds SD on the QT — Almost factual news Sheep and Goats — Places of worship Special Issues — The best of Street Style — San Diego streets have style Surf Diego — Real stories from those braving the waves Theater — On stage in San Diego this week Tin Fork — Silver spoon alternative Under the Radar — Matt Potter's undercover work Unforgettable — Long-ago San Diego Unreal Estate — San Diego's priciest pads Your Week — Daily event picks
4S Ranch Allied Gardens Alpine Baja Balboa Park Bankers Hill Barrio Logan Bay Ho Bay Park Black Mountain Ranch Blossom Valley Bonita Bonsall Borrego Springs Boulevard Campo Cardiff-by-the-Sea Carlsbad Carmel Mountain Carmel Valley Chollas View Chula Vista City College City Heights Clairemont College Area Coronado CSU San Marcos Cuyamaca College Del Cerro Del Mar Descanso Downtown San Diego Eastlake East Village El Cajon Emerald Hills Encanto Encinitas Escondido Fallbrook Fletcher Hills Golden Hill Grant Hill Grantville Grossmont College Guatay Harbor Island Hillcrest Imperial Beach Imperial Valley Jacumba Jamacha-Lomita Jamul Julian Kearny Mesa Kensington La Jolla Lakeside La Mesa Lemon Grove Leucadia Liberty Station Lincoln Acres Lincoln Park Linda Vista Little Italy Logan Heights Mesa College Midway District MiraCosta College Miramar Miramar College Mira Mesa Mission Beach Mission Hills Mission Valley Mountain View Mount Hope Mount Laguna National City Nestor Normal Heights North Park Oak Park Ocean Beach Oceanside Old Town Otay Mesa Pacific Beach Pala Palomar College Palomar Mountain Paradise Hills Pauma Valley Pine Valley Point Loma Point Loma Nazarene Potrero Poway Rainbow Ramona Rancho Bernardo Rancho Penasquitos Rancho San Diego Rancho Santa Fe Rolando San Carlos San Marcos San Onofre Santa Ysabel Santee San Ysidro Scripps Ranch SDSU Serra Mesa Shelltown Shelter Island Sherman Heights Skyline Solana Beach Sorrento Valley Southcrest South Park Southwestern College Spring Valley Stockton Talmadge Temecula Tierrasanta Tijuana UCSD University City University Heights USD Valencia Park Valley Center Vista Warner Springs
Close

Anchor ads are not supported on this page.