Mural welcoming families to AMC Plaza Bonita
  • Mural welcoming families to AMC Plaza Bonita
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AMC Plaza Bonita

3050 Plaza Bonita Road, Bonita

The National City City Council voted 3-2 last week to deny the AMC Plaza Bonita movie theater a liquor license. At a hearing before the vote, parents stressed the importance of maintaining a family-friendly atmosphere at the movies. Here is a completely unrelated list of some of the movie stars depicted on the enormous mural above the entrance to the theater.

  1. Paul Newman as Brick in Cat on a Hot Tin Roof. Newman was regarded as an all right guy, thanks to his charity work and long marriage to Joanne Woodward (for whom he left his first wife and three children), but Brick is a horrific drunk and repressed homosexual who keeps swilling bourbon until he hears that "click" that means he's finally drowned out all the pain of his horrible family life, including a father who terrifies him, a mother who failed to protect him, and a brother who disgusts him, not to mention some truly awful nieces and nephews.

  2. Mel Gibson as Mad Max. Max abandons a life of law enforcement and goes on a revenge murder spree following the death of his family, but it's Gibson who merits special attention here. Famous for making outrageous statements about Jews while pulled over for drunk driving, and also for rage-fueled obscene phone conversations with his (then) girlfriend that were later leaked to the media.

  3. Judy Garland, a wonderful entertainer and four-time divorcee whose long struggle with drugs and alcohol ended with death by barbiturate overdose at the age of 47.

  4. Marilyn Monroe, a wonderful entertainer and three-time divorcee whose long struggle with drugs and alcohol ended with death by barbiturate overdose at the age of 36.

  5. Looks a lot like David Carradine, a fine actor and four-time divorcee whose interest in unusual sex practices led to his death by erotic asphyxiation in a Thai hotel closet at the age of 72.

  6. Chris Tucker and Jackie Chan in Rush Hour, a film that is impossible to enjoy while sober.

  7. Drew Barrymore, Cameron Diaz, and Lucy Liu in Charlie's Angels, another film that is impossible to enjoy while sober.

  8. Drew Barrymore, a showbiz kid who started drinking at 11, smoking pot at 12, and snorting coke at 13. She was in rehab by 14 years of age. (Happily, she seems to have come through all that.)

  9. Julia Roberts in Pretty Woman, a story about a prostitute who finds the man of her dreams.

  10. Uma Thurman in Pulp Fiction, shortly before her character snorts heroin, dies, and must be resuscitated by having a needle full of adrenaline jammed into her heart.

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Comments

dwbat March 15, 2015 @ 4:40 p.m.

Re: #10 Uma is with Pulp Fiction co-star John Travolta, longtime proud member of the Scientology cult. PARENTS: Definitely keep your kids away from those dangerous people!

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