The Millionaire's Milkshake costs $20, because of the edible gold. Bling!

Jaunty, vaguely English Shakeaway interior

San Diego is a fro-yo town. We know this, and we love it. We are a health-conscious people, and the words “fat free” shine like a beacon, drawing in the yoga/gym/triathlon crowd from miles around for a little guiltless, icy pleasure.

Shakeaway (insert easy Shakeweight joke here), the UK-based milkshake bar that opened in La Jolla and PB a while back, is having none of it. The place’s milkshakes(roughly $5-$8) pack massive amounts of sugary, milky, ice-creamy delight into each cup. The concept is similar to fro-yo bars like Fiji or Golden Spoon, but the ingredients skew towards candy bars, cookies, syrups, and regular vanilla ice cream.

It’s kind of like Cold Stone, but a thousand times better because nobody sings at you and there are over a million different potential shakes.

One could, conceivably, produce a “healthier” shake, by using the nonfat frozen yogurt and fruit options on the menu of about 180 different ingredients. But...why?

The milkshakes are good. Really good. The blenders pulverize each ingredient into a fine paste, so that even with Kinder bars, oreos, Laffy Taffy, carrot cake, or freaking Moon Pies form a unified flavor.

Me gusta.

The only real problem is that the American menu doesn’t have all the wacky British candies and “biscuits” that are on the UK menu. It would be obviously unreasonable to import all the stuff, but wouldn’t it be cool to see chocolate Hob Nobs and whatever Fry’s Orange Cream is?

Otherwise, “breakfast shakes” that use pancakes, fruit, and maple syrup?

F@%K yeah!

A $20 milkshake topped with edible gold and laced with expensive chocolate and hazelnuts?

F@%K yeah!

The “worst milkshake ever” with onions and green peas in it?

Yeah...how about no. Nope Shake. Keep that. Just add spiders and it would be the worst thing ever.

But, the rest of the stuff? Get on it. Fun. Delicious. Milky. Shaky.