"We couldn't be more excited," says Water Department head Thomas Crapper. "For years, we've been negotiating for the exclusive rights to a previously untapped water source, one with almost unlimited potential. Now that those rights have been successfully acquired, we'll be able to apply our cutting-edge technology to produce the purest, healthiest, most refreshing water ever bottled. We call it Flushe because of the water's wonderful cleansing powers. A bottle a day will go a long way towards flushing out your gunked-up innards! In these difficult times, we're thrilled to offer a product that will provide water to a thirsty public and revenue for a tapped-out Department."