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Dr. Bill (free associating): Arms of me. Army. Marines. That’s it! Camp Pendleton!

GT: You got it, brother. Notice the wave of warm invitations extended to our military personnel, to freely spend their money in nearby establishments.

An enormous red, white, and blue sign reads “Freedom.” Another states “We proudly honor our military.” The Camp Pendleton Marine presence is shouted about, with flags waving, used car lots offering “approved military loans,” military dry-cleaning and pawnshops trying to lure those short-haired military folks to “Come on down. Trade your Gold for Silver.”

Dr. Bill: Which is being honored most, the military or the dollar?

GT: Each in its own way.

GT: Well, I feel an even more powerful force pervading the atmosphere of coastal towns from Malibu to San Diego.

Dr. Bill: Fear of the great white shark!

GT: Pshaw. The vibrations come from Hawaii, Baja, and Southern California. Look at the stores.

Dr. Bill: Ah-ha. I get it. Southern California Beach subculture?

GT: Right! Hawaii gave us surfing culture and an acceptance of bare skin. Baja taught us to ply ourselves into a relaxed state with margaritas, marijuana, a mañana attitude, and maybe a morning Corona. SoCal has contributed woodies, fast food, board shorts, and bikinis. The eats gobbled by the beach tribe reflect these cultures: sushi and teriyaki via Hawaii, burritos and tacos direct from Baja, and good old American hamburgers, with fries and a Coke or a milkshake. You can identify the tribe by their casual dress, $60-plus board shorts, $100 bikinis, flip flops, and tank tops. Name-brand sunglasses are a must, as is a tattoo or two.

We surf past the 101 Cafe. Opened in 1928, it’s a comfortable place that serves crispy hash browns, chili, and overall tasty breakfasts. GT wants to stop and critique an antique bicycle for two that’s out front.

GT: Antique! That piece of junkyard pipe isn’t even a replica of a bicycle for two.

I notice the Beach Break Café has enlarged into the Beach Break Plaza. Nice place, but too pricey, too crowded, and too trendy for me.

We approach our first bike shop, “Allen’s Bike Shop.” Inside is a nice gentleman.

Dr. Bill (to nice gentleman): GT complains of a squeaky wheel and chain. Can you help me?

Nice Gentleman: Sure, I’ll oil your squeaky wheel. Your chain, too.

GT: Ohh. That feels so good.

At Vista Way, in front of Pacific Coast Cycle, stands a real antique bicycle. To avoid a jealous rage, I leave GT outside while I converse with the Maybe Owner.

Dr. Bill: How about letting me ride that relic to La Jolla a few times? It’ll be a good advertisement for you.

Maybe Owner: No deal. It’s solely for display. Anyhow, you wouldn’t want to.

Dr. Bill: I would, I would.

Maybe Owner: Forget it. No is no.

Dr. Bill: Can I rent it for eight hours for one million dollars?

Maybe Owner: Sure. Show me the dough.

Dr. Bill: So, we’re just quibbling about price. How about ten dollars?

Maybe Owner: Get out of here.

I come out of the bike shop to face an accusation.

GT: I thought we were monogamous.

Onward. We pass Angelo’s, which serves the biggest, cheapest breakfast around: 3 eggs, 2 pancakes, 2 strips of bacon, and 2 sausages for $5.29. I did once encounter a cockroach on the floor, but the price beats Vigilucci’s in Encinitas!

Wheeee, we sea-gull-swoop down into Buena Vista Lagoon, the state ecological reserve that separates Oceanside from Carlsbad. On our left is a nature center built, owned, operated, and staffed by volunteers from the local Audubon Society. If you ever want to see a bunch of indigenous stuffed birds, mammals, and rodents (they’re dead, of course), this is the place to go. I used to find these critters somewhat interesting, but Debra found them disgusting. “Were these poor stuffed animals killed just for our entertainment?” Not even the docents had an answer. But we both loved the walkways around the lagoon.

GT: I don’t like it when you think about her.

Dr. Bill: Then don’t listen in on my thoughts.

GT: Why not? You listen to mine.

Carlsbad: 12:30 p.m.

Puffing up the second hill of our adventure, we move from the military/beach style of Oceanside into the touristy, resortlike retirement community of Carlsbad. Carlsbad is one of the country’s highest-income cities (average family income over 100,000 clams), with a highly educated populace, an award-winning school district, and the world’s first skateboard park, built in 1976 on the grounds of the Carlsbad Raceway. GT will give us a glimpse of the town’s history.

GT: Known history of Carlsbad begins with a settlement of Native Americans, Luiseño tribe, who had a village, Palamai. Does this sound similar to Palomar Airport Road? Yep. The former location of the village was alongside Agua Hedionda Lagoon, which in Spanish means “Smelly Water Lagoon.” The lagoon is in South Carlsbad, close to the I-5 and Cannon Road exit.

Dr. Bill: The Luiseño tribe is still around. I read in the North County Times (June 13, 2011) that the San Luis Rey band of Luiseño Indians hosted the 15th annual Intertribal Pow Wow at San Luis Rey Mission. Robert John Knapp, the Pow Wow’s spiritual advisor, stated: “Today we honor the people here and speak to the Earth from this happy place. We must love our Mother Earth, and we must express that love and actively practice it. Talk to her, sing to her, tell her how much you love her.”

GT: I love you, Momma Earth.

Dr. Bill: I love you, Momma Earth.

We cross the bridge over the railway tracks. On our right is the well-manicured Army and Naval Academy, which has an enrollment of about 300 students on a beautiful, 16-acre, oceanfront campus. The walls proclaim “Leadership, Excellence, Honor, Responsibility, Loyalty and Compassion.” Those words were an important part of the academy’s reputation, but a boil burst on the academy in 2003. A few students were involved in a hazing incident with an unwilling cadet. The cadet was forced to drink alcohol, beaten up, and sodomized with a broomstick. The suit charged the academy with not properly protecting the students. The suit was reported as settled in August 2009. The cadets that I have encountered have seemed like other high school students, though I’m sure a broomstick will never be just a broomstick to them.

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Comments

jwaddle Feb. 2, 2012 @ 9:09 p.m.

The errors, misinformation and poor context displayed in your cover story, (Dr. Bill and GT Surf Hwy 101, Feb. 2, 2012) begins with the cover art that places the SRF in South O instead of south Encinitas where it is actually located. The story goes downhill from there. His transport, the GT LTS 3 is actually a GT LTS 3000 with a 1998 MSRP of $999.00 not the $4000+ he claimed. The GT LTS XC is the model that sells for $4295 and the fact that it was purchased at a yard sale for $60 means that it was probably stolen. I'm unsure of the author's objective but quality writing and useful information were obviously tossed aside in favor of poor humor, mixed up and confusing information concerning the features and businesses located along his journey . His route in Oceanside from his starting point at Canyon and Mission to Hwy. 101 was confusing at best and impossible at worst. His comments about the businesses were superficial and ill informed. His comments about the Oceanside "barrio" and it's "brown skinned" inhabitants were racist, his comments about Jr. Seau were rude and pointless. His evaluation of the local beach culture and restaurants were tasteless and ignorant. Getting free service and cheap food seemed to be his goal. He is arrogant and insulting. His patronage is not worth having. If he does weigh 220 lbs. as stated by his GT, he probably couldn't muster the 20 push-ups or 40 sit-ups he claims and his huffing and puffing is understandable. The Leucadia Bar is actually The Bar Leucadian. His longing for the BAFE and the Cinnamon Roll with extra butter explain his 220 lbs. His comments about the cheap food and drink show his lack of class and his lack of appreciation for the quality affordable fare available at the establishments that he passes by without mention, but he'll stop at the Berry Happy Frozen Yogurt spot for a $3.50 dose of ectasy Fro-Yo and cross the street to the Seven-Eleven for a "big Gulp and a Dog". As the sugar goes straight to his head he surges forward avoiding the "pedophiles" (?), the "most dangerous part of our ride". His final verbal offering describing Yogananda as a "rotund brown man in an orange robe" caps his insulting tirade after which he thanks us for joining him and suggests we see him on his next adventure. Thanks but no thanks. I've already had enough. I ask the San Diego Reader, what were you thinking?

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David Dodd Feb. 3, 2012 @ 2:09 a.m.

Other than that, Mr. Waddle, one can only assume that you had no other issues with this piece (sorry, I couldn't resist, you put so much effort into your reply, it's a quite impressive critique). I read it a bit differently. The bike ride (and even the bikes) are merely vehicles to move the interesting tidbits of local history from one point to the next, and the dialogue seems to serve as a catalyst to hold the end of one of those pauses to the next. Otherwise, wouldn't it be a bit dry and textbookish to simply write a dozen paragraphs concerning different locations in respect to local history?

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jwaddle Feb. 3, 2012 @ 8:59 a.m.

It's true, the cover story was so bad, there were several other items that deserved serious critique but as you mentioned I only had so much time to devote to the effort. The story, regardless of how you see it, was of very poor quality and not worth the position accredited it. If you are so enamored with local history perhaps you should address to removal of SRF to Oceanside by the cover artist And, (anonymous), Mr. Refritos, I'm aware of your well documented flatulent record of comments in the Reader which puts you in a dubious position to comment on mine. Do us all a favor, stop by your local market and pick up a vial of Beano.

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David Dodd Feb. 10, 2012 @ 12:16 a.m.

Beano is not available here in Baja, Mr. Waddle. If it was, then buying a vial would be out of the question, apparently Beano is now only available in tablet form. It wouldn't much matter anyway, when you spend a couple of decades eating certain vegetables and legumes that are high in complex sugars, your own body will eventually begin to produce the enzymes necessary in order to break those down appropriately. It's like reading. If you read enough, I think your brain begins to process the complex conceits that writers sometimes use in order to convey their core message. I do have hope for you. You did, after all, manage to cram the words "flatulent" and "Beano" into a single comment. I can see a future Reader cover story right there, and I'm certain you'll figure out a way to insert the truth about bicycles and proper beach culture and acceptable diners in there somewhere. Have at it!

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Surfinmurs Feb. 4, 2012 @ 8:38 a.m.

Awesome story! What makes you assume the author drew the cover art? If you look closely at the cover, the artist's signature can be found under the rear tire in the grass. By READING the story it's clear the author knows where the SRF is located. Besides, it's a freaking cartoon caricature. If you're using it for a map, you have issues. I found Dr. Bill's evaluation of Cali surf culture to be humorous and unfortunately quite accurate. Not every surfer fits into this cookie cutter category, but an alarming number do (referring to the tattoos and designer shades). As for suggesting there is racism in this writing is just ignorant. Brown faces is a racist comment? Sounds like the person who is pointing his finger may have some prejudice issues he needs to deal with. Dr. Bill sounds like he is quite at home with Mexican American culture. On a side note I would defend the beach break cafe. It is trendy and crowded, but for a good reason. The scrambalatta is amazing and you can help yourself to coffee while you wait for a table to open up! On a second side note, 220lbs isn't that big of a guy. I'm 215 myself and can do more than 20 pushups. Let's face it, those without talent will always be overly critical of those with talent.

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jwaddle Feb. 4, 2012 @ 10:42 p.m.

Please don't put words in my mouth. I did not say the author did the cover art nor did I suggest he was misinformed about the location of the SRF. The cover artist lives in New Jersey and was just an artist for hire. Had the Reader used a local artist there probably would not have been a problem. I agree with your assessment of the Beach Break Cafe but your comments about my prejudices and lack of talent are just arrogant posturing on your part and have no basis in fact. You need to stay centered.

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coconutmama Feb. 4, 2012 @ 11 a.m.

It found this story to be fun and interesting. I enjoyed the author's creative writing style. I did not check if the details are 100% accurate, but I am sure the author intended to be as accurate as possible. It seems to me that his real purpose was to tell a story of the places, images, and thoughts that can be discovered along the way from Oceanside to Encinitas. His writing makes me think that he is a very content person, who enjoys exploring his home region, and wanted to relay the quirky thoughts that arise along his way. I found myself smiling while reading the story, especially when he referenced some of the grungy "local" spots that are so well loved by us beach-bum types. It is unfortunate that some people are not able to relax and enjoy the raw simplicity of his writings. Maybe they need a "morning Corona," huh?

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jwaddle Feb. 4, 2012 @ 10:21 p.m.

I don't seek solutions to my problems in alcohol and I don't drink alcohol in the morning. I hope you enjoyed the part about the sodomizing by broomstick of the Army navy Academy Cadet. Inspiring, to say the least. I'm surprised he left out the story of the bicycle rider hit and killed by a drunk driver on Hwy.101 in Encinitas a few months ago. It would have fit nicely in his dialogue

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pocolocolombardo Feb. 6, 2012 @ 11:55 a.m.

GT’s Depression and Abduction Sir Waddle A. Lot’s harsh reaction to our article came at a very difficult time in my life. My baby is gone, big butt saddle and all. GT, my love, who was devaluated and demoralized by Sir W, is no longer with us. Immediately after reading Sir W’s critique to GT, he lapsed into a deep depression and couldn’t even get it up enough to escape from the bike-nappers. He was bike-napped, ripped off! It ripped off a chunk of my heart. He was my guy. Debra, my beautiful wife, said, “I want you to know even though I was jealous that I didn’t conspire to have your bike stolen.” Will it be pawn shop, garage sale or junk yard for my old partner? I’m starting a national campaign to have all bike thieves, age eight and above, receive the death penalty by stoning with bicycle nuts, bolts and gears. I don’t think I mentioned that we were an interracial couple. Black is beautiful. GT’s vibrant color and branding are clearly displayed in the only existent picture in which GT appears nude. If you would like a copy, please email me your address.

Seeing my dismay, my spouse,Debra, went to craigslist and found a GT Timberline (GTT) gift for me for a $100. Not as upgrade as my old partner, but GTT is young, strong, tough and without a scratch. It’s happening slowly, but the hurt is going away. I am attracted to this younger, shinier GT with RevoShift. It’s far too early to tell whether this spring-winter relationship will lead to marriage. 
    You are right, it was established over seven decades ago that I’ve a lack of class and tawdry taste in all but my choice of women. Perhaps, you can could be a tutor to teach me to be more classy, like you. Anytime you would like to join me for push-ups and sit-ups, you are welcome.

    By the way, Sir Waddle A. Lot,I sincerely thank you for your well-thought out and researched criticisms and comments. Thank you for carefully reading the article. You have created an awareness in me to be even more careful in my words and data. I’ve always wanted a critic, as it demonstrates that I have arrived. I’m so impressed that I would like to invite you to proofread my next Reader submission. I think we could go far combining our skills.  It is nice to have a friend.   I think the San Diego Reader should hire you to provide critiques of their author of the week. You do a great job. Oh, yes, Sir Waddle, I presume that you weren't that pedophile that GT and I accidentally jostled in Old Encinitas? If you were, you have my profound apologies for our careless biking.

Thank you, Dr. Bill and GTT

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longtimecardiffian Feb. 7, 2012 @ 10:12 a.m.

wow,waddle...you have some kind of bone to pick....wonder why? maybe the reader doesn't like your style of writing......? or...maybe you are a local artist that the reader won't hire for illustrations...i sense a deep resentment in your soul.... i myself am eager to hear dr. bill's story of his ride through cardiff...and on to solana beach , del mar...la jolla...maybe all the way to mexico!!!!.i found his story interesting and filled with tidbits of history that made it say MORE MORE MORE! i have been to carlsbad, or rather karlslovy, in the czech republik, and loved the connection between the two carlsbads..and know that his history lesson was right on! i myself am a bit of a historian.... so Reader, please, more GT and Dr. Bill!!!

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Sue_Sanchez Feb. 7, 2012 @ 3:07 p.m.

This was a well-written and humorous guide to a coastal bike ride for with good hints for where to stop for economical snacks on the road. I wanted more bar reviews (nothing like sipping a beer while watching the surf) but you can't have everything.

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footballnme Feb. 8, 2012 @ 9:35 p.m.

I found the article to be funny and yet informative..different perspectives are good for the soul, a cool ride. It was refreshing to get away from the stero-type SoCal Plastic B-S that so many beach communities try to hide.It was very clear to me that Dr. Bill was expressing feelings and observations. I am going to take the same trip and judge for myself, I bet I will meet a lot of fine folks and discover new hang outs! Why is jwaddle so nasty and negative.... he needs a bike ride!

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gsplsngr Feb. 9, 2012 @ 2:02 p.m.

I don't want to bash the author, but rather the editorial staff that thought A. The subject matter was interesting and B. The riding style was up to Reader's standards. When people get easy facts wrong you doubt everything else that is in the story. When the writer said that he got a $4000 dollar bike for $60 at a garage sale, that should throw up red flags. One look at that bike I could tell it was not originally $4000 but maybe $400. I checked the story to make sure this was not a typo. Secondly I could not finish reading the article because it was so mundane and the thought process was so jumbled. If this was the product after the editors looked at it I would have hated to see just how bad it was before.

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HotelCalifornia May 18, 2012 @ 9:43 p.m.

jwaddle is absolutely correct in his assessment of the article. It's a lo end bike, and the rider is a low end person. End of story.

HotelCalifornia, Encinitan, GT LTS 3000 owner and patron of all the places mentioned.

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