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“We’ve had to evict people that we’ve helped, and we’ve had women want to fight me, women calling me out by name.” She raises an eyebrow. “There have been times when, before I knew it, I was taking my earrings off and kicking my shoes off. I’ve had to learn to temper my spirit and to not let anybody rile me.”

And, no, they’re not all black. In fact, there are times when she’d like to emphasize that point.

“When we have events and stuff — we’ve had a lot of television coverage — I don’t want to always be up there with a black girl [when drawing attention to the issue of homelessness]. You’d be quite surprised. Right now, we have three white girls, two Hispanics, and two black residents at Trinity House. It’s such a melting pot.”

Not too long ago, one of the “white girls,” whom she calls “a cutter,” tried to commit suicide and had to be taken to the emergency psychiatric ward.

“When those situations happen, we refer them to a crisis house or another organization that can deal with their immediate psychiatric needs. I have to constantly assess our risks and exposure and do what’s best for the house as a whole.”

Miss Evelyn’s education in handling the tough cases came from her relationship with her own mother, a teacher who taught at Freese Elementary School in Skyline East for 36 years.

“I grew up in Skyline. I grew up in the ’hood, but because my parents were both educators, I had more of an upper-middle-class upbringing. I had all the things a lot of people didn’t have.”

Despite the material security, she started smoking marijuana at age 12. From there, her drug use progressed to cocaine and then crack.

“I found myself from the age of about 25, 26, up until I was about 31, walking up and down the streets, prostituting, doing whatever I could do to get drugs. I had heard of Skid Row, but one day I looked up, and I was on Skid Row. I was in downtown Los Angeles by myself. I was gone. Out of it.”

After failing to “rescue” Evelyn a few times, her mother started going to Nar-Anon meetings (“for those affected by someone else’s addiction,” the Nar-Anon Family Groups website reads).

“Before that, I would steal from her, manipulate, steal things out of her house, whatever I could do, She wouldn’t let me live with her, but she’d pay for me to have a place. She’d say, ‘You can’t live with me, but I don’t want to see you on the streets.’ When she finally learned tough love, it saved my life. That meant no more money. Don’t come knocking on my door. I don’t want to talk to you. I don’t want to hear from you. I’d get arrested, I’d be in jail, she wouldn’t accept my calls.”

The deal was, Evelyn could have her mother back if she went to rehab. And in 1992, after extradition from Los Angeles to San Diego, where she served 60 days for writing $6000 worth of bad checks, she finally acquiesced and went to a rehab house called Kiva — for seven months. She has been clean since.

Miss Evelyn looks at me straight on, without blinking, and repeats, “That tough love saved my life.”

To emphasize the point further, she tells me about her mother’s best friend, who had a son Evelyn’s age. He also became heavily involved with drugs, and unlike Mrs. Irving, his mother did not set boundaries.

“That mother could never say no to her son. She would get up at three o’clock in the morning, go find him, give him money all the time. I don’t care how many times he stole from her or what he did to manipulate. When I was in rehab, he was murdered. His throat was cut. When I look back on that, I know my mom saved my life.”

Miss Evelyn stands up from her chair and reaches toward the wall behind me. She removes a thumbtack from a collage of magazine words and pictures pasted to a piece of cardboard.

“Let me show you this. It’s something I made when I was in rehab.” She flips the collage over to reveal her name handwritten above a number. “That was my number: 1411.”

At a quick glance, it would be easy to mistake the collage for a visual affirmation. The words “achievement” and “expectation” stand out, as do pictures of black men, women, and children. But on closer examination, I see the words, “agony” and “shorter life” as well. The assignment, she tells me, was to reflect on her life and what she was feeling and then to make a collage.

“I was projecting all the different things from my past and my future, and what’s so weird about it is that everything came true.”

She directs my attention toward several pictures: a row of old, clunky computers; a black father-daughter couple sitting at a table; a heavily made-up woman standing in front of a serious-looking man; the word “abortion” spray-painted on a wall.

“Look,” she explains, pointing to each in turn, “I ended up getting my degree in computers. I’ve got my husband and one daughter. This was me when I was prostituting. I’ve had abortions.”

When I ask why she keeps it hung on the wall, she says, “It’s just so special to me. I was on drugs in L.A. I woke up in the hospital eight times in one year and didn’t have a clue as to how I’d gotten there. I would wake up and be strapped in, IVs in my neck and in my feet. So this is a reminder. It humbles me that God would even see me worthy to do this work.”

A long, lanky-limbed man with light eyes and dark shiny skin excuses himself and slips between us to grab a folder from one of the desks. Miss Evelyn introduces him as her husband Glen whom she met at Kiva. In 1994, they married, and the next year, she gave birth to her daughter Kiva.

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Comments

DoraDale June 9, 2011 @ 5:50 p.m.

Yes, Ms. Irving-Jackson is definitely an anomaly. While she and her husband should be applauded for all the work they are doing for the homeless in San Diego, the title of the story is misleading. She certainly does not represent the rest of the six percent of San Diegans who are Black. To paraphrase Ms. Irving-Jackson....."she got issues".

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Radical Uterus June 10, 2011 @ 4:52 p.m.

That's funny I feel the same way about a penis as she does about her hair.

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evelynirving June 12, 2011 @ 12:18 p.m.

hahahaaa -- too funny -- I say hmmmm... that left me contemplating my purchasing power lol!

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BobbyH3 June 15, 2011 @ 8:52 a.m.

The title is spot-on. I'm not black, but if I were, I can imagine myself attending family functions where - no matter how hard one tries to ignore it - the running theme is always geared towards drug addiction, joblessness, incarceration... How do you buy yourself out of that? Every birthday, every holiday, every family reunion is a reminder of someone not able to attend because they have'issues'. If I were black, I'd think there was a conspiracy against my color, too. Luckily, I'm white, so i'm afforded the convenience to pretend that the 'Black San Diego' doesn't exist, that there are no Miss Evelyns out there fighting for survival.

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evelynirving June 15, 2011 @ 10:10 p.m.

Unfortunately, this type of article may perpetuate the type of thinking that is illustrated in BobbyH3's response. For this I do apologize -- although I have no control over what other people think, but do take responsibiity for any actions that I illustrate to encourage that thinking.

BobbyH3, I don't want you to think that Black people own the market on drug addiction, joblessness, and incarceration -- these things do not see color. And trust, the topic at Black Folks birthdays, family reunions, and holidays are not geared toward drug addiction, joblessness, and incarceration -- I would love to see you invited so that you can see for yourself. Oh, and one more thing -- this country has been plagued with conspiracy (in theory and actions) that are not isolated to Black People -- just look at the American Indian -- who now, by the way are getting rich through gaming. I just thought I would go on record -- all in fun.

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strinity June 18, 2011 @ 9:59 p.m.

This is irresponsible journalism at best! Ms. Evelyn Irving-Jackson’s perception of Black San Diego is as off based as her and her so call “nonprofit organization”. As a previous resident of the Trinity House, I can honestly state that Evelyn, compassion is for financial gain. We were treated poorly, everything was about the dollar.... I and others were disrespected and dishonored while living at the Trinity House.... Evelyn is not and never has been consider a community leader. Most professionals of African Ancestry know the value and the history of Black San Diego. How dare her state that we don’t exist.

Did Ms. Salaam, dare to check the background of Evelyn...?

Black San Diego has made countless contributions the San Diego finest city. I am simply ashamed, let down and embarrassed of this unfound article! Perhaps, the reason that she has no “black friends; is because our community can recognize a wolf in sheep’s clothing!

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evelynirving June 18, 2011 @ 10:59 p.m.

The previous post is real funny -- I especially wish the part about collecting a salary were true! That definitely isn't the case but I wish it were -- so that piece of information is definitely wrong. I appreciate your response and candidness to your feelings toward us. And yes, do check my arrest record -- it is definitely public record. But if you want to make it easy on yourself -- just ask me. I'm as transparent as transparent can be. Just as is my post, I don't have to hide behind an alias.

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SurfPuppy619 Dec. 7, 2012 @ 5:23 p.m.

But if you want to make it easy on yourself -- just ask me. I'm as transparent as transparent can be

How much was your gross income on your last years, 2011, W-2 form?

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evelynirving Jan. 8, 2013 @ 9:08 p.m.

Oh wow -- I just happen to pop over here and saw this question. What was last years 2011 W-2 Income .. Zero!

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Subec Dec. 7, 2012 @ 3:19 p.m.

This article is not only misleading but, extremely insulting to the 6% of blacks that do reside in San Diego. Perhaps drugs, crime, and prostitution is a part of her everyday reality. As a native black San Diegan I can say without a doubt it is not mine. I don't know anyone black like the people she and her husband describe as the reason for a non cohesive black community in San Diego. I applaud the work that she does but, I think this is a prime example once again of irresponsible journalism by the San Diego Reader.

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evelynirving Jan. 8, 2013 @ 9:15 p.m.

I kinda have to agree there. I was somewhat surprised when I read the article myself, but stand by everything that I said and the way that I feel. In the end, those that read it either loved me more for having the courage to speak my truth, or hated me and felt some kind of way about it. Some even called and wanted to participate with what we are doing -- be a part of the solution, rather than just sit on the side lines and complain about it. Nevertheless, it is my truth no matter how it portrayed whomever took ownership. At the end of the day though, most people would not be about the risks we take on a daily basis, the sacrifices we have made to help others, and how tremendously blessed we are to acknowledge that even in our own shortcomings, we can help someone less fortunate. Now can the church say Amen!

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awareness123 Feb. 12, 2013 @ 4:27 p.m.

I want to first off by saying thank you for your caring heart and tough love you are spreading in San Diego. I work at a non-profit bookstore in East Village and have also been interviewed by the San Diego reader. I'm aware that they can and do mislead readers. During the Trans-Atlantic slave trade alot of Africans lost their name, children, family, spirituality, self-respect, identity and soul. Many African Americans are now waking up and picking up the pieces of their identity. I also believe that the government is still enslaving African American men, women, and child mentally and physically. In school they teach the children white washed curriculum. Did you know the original statue of liberty design was a African American, or that George Washington was the 8th president and that the first one was a African American named John Hanson. However, the pictures may NOW be lighten up to portray a white man. And the highly profitable prison business. I am 100% down for helping hand in hand with the African American community and agree that we have to stop talking and take action. Anyone reading this and want to know more about African American lost legacy watch Hidden Colors 1 &2 to start with. There are also many books and other movies that are not in the movie theater that reveal the past and present government propaganda. ****African American keep an eye on where you spend your money. We need to support African American businesses. Oh yeah love your natural hair it’s what God blessed you with.

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SurfPuppy619 Feb. 12, 2013 @ 4:41 p.m.

George Washington was the 8th president and that the first one was a African American named John Hanson

Good comment, except for this^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^.

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