“Yes,” she said.
“He says he is real sorry for what he did, but that he is where he is supposed to be.”
“Excuse me? How did you know my son Jeff?”
“He is telling me that he is really sorry, so so sorry for how he did it, but that he was in so much pain, and now he is happy and where he is supposed to be. You are where you’re supposed to be and so is he. Look, I got a killer headache. Do you mind if I get some Advil or somethin’?”
Unbeknownst to Mike or my mother, Joe was a medium. He claimed he’d been bombarded all day and night by Jeff, who wanted to talk to my mother. Joe said that he’d always had the gift, that it was a nuisance at times, and that he got high a lot to dull his senses. He described what Jeff looked like and how he took his life. When relaying the messages, he spoke in a way similar to Jeff’s speech pattern. Neither Mike nor my mother had ever told this man anything about Jeff.
Joe took his Advil and headed out the door. He said goodbye to my mom and promised to call Mike again and have another “guys’ night.” He asked Jeff to p*ss off and leave him alone and then he probably went back downtown to get smashed.
Later on in the week, a coworker of my mom’s returned from a healing session with her therapist — with a message from Jeff. Kim had been seeing a healer/therapist about trying to get pregnant. Doctors told her that it was impossible after her miscarriage, and that’s when she found Beverly. Beverly started the session by asking how she was. Kim said that she was feeling good but that a friend had recently lost her son.
“Does his name start with a J?…Jeff…Tell your friend that he comes and speaks with me all the time and that I would love to meet her.”
My mom went to meet Beverly, and there began the road to our recovery.
On Beverly’s advice, I decided to ask for a sign from my brother. I went to Target and purchased two scented candles and taped a baby picture of Jeff to one of them. I closed my window and door and lit the candle. My house at the time was a real dump and had no AC or heater, so no air was coming into my bedroom. I asked Jeff to put out the candle I had lit for him. In the past, being a smartass, I’d asked him to make my car hover, or for me to win the lottery, but this time I took it seriously and really tried to reach out. I focused all my energy on that flame and begged Jeff to put it out.
Jeff, please. I need you to come down and put this candle out. I don’t know of any other signs or whatever that you can do to convince me that you’re still here, unless you can make a car fly into my fking window. I need you to do this for me. I know — I KNOW! — that logically, with my window closed, and the door closed, that this thing will burn down to the bottom. I’ve burned candles before and all of them have burned to nothingness. But this time…show me you found the way out of the darkness and put this candle out.
I asked that question for a good hour, focusing on the candle, telling Jeff that this was his one chance to help me out and show me that we don’t disappear, that he didn’t disappear. I eventually got tired and told Jeff I was going to sleep. I passed out with the candle still lit. When I woke the next morning, I’d forgotten about the whole ordeal. I got dressed and grabbed my keys and only then noticed that the candle had gone out sometime in the night. It was half-size, pretty much what it had been when I fell asleep.
Sure, this wasn’t a spiritual two-by-four to the head to utterly and totally convince me that Jeff was still around — but it helped. I mean, isn’t there an entire holiday celebrated around the fact that some super old lamp or oil burned for eight days, when it was only supposed to last for a day? Spirits aren’t always obvious about this stuff. I think they like to mess with us and test our faith.
What finally did it for me, though, were the words “Eep opp ork AH AH!” During a session with Beverly, she told my mother to relay a message to Jeff’s girlfriend Mel: “Eep opp ork AH AH.” Beverly talks like my brother when she channels him; she calls me “dude” and talks smack in the exact speech patterns Jeff would have used; she knows things that only Jeff would know. Well, neither my mother nor Beverly knew what those words meant, but when I later listened to the audiotape of their session, I knew exactly.
“Eep opp ork AH AH!” was from a Jetsons episode, one I’d seen with my brother back in the day. In the episode, Judy Jetson wins a date with Jet Screamer, and he sings this song for her. The words mean “I love you” in space talk. I called Mel to give her Jeff’s message. She blew us all away by revealing that for the past year she’s been learning to say “I love you” in every language in the world. Jeff knew this at the time of his death and was now saying it to her from space.
I don’t fear death, nor do I fear a whole lot. I’ve poured out one of the most tragic events in my life to you, and chances are we have never met. But I don’t care…because those who matter don’t mind, and those who mind don’t matter.
Be happy and chase your dreams.■
— Frank Wells