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“Excuse me,” I said, “I’m trying to find Mr. DAY.”

Matter-of-factly, the young man said, “It’s pronounced DIE.” As in death, I thought. He offered his hand. “I’m Simon, Mr. Dey’s assistant.” Simon seemed like a genuinely nice person — or, at any rate, nice. In the environment of a Hollywood press junket, I challenge anyone to separate genuine kindness from vocational aspiration.

“Very good,” I said. “And thank you for letting me know. Standing by for Mr. DIE.” Then I waited by my car for another hour.

Catering trucks arrived. Wonderfully rich-looking food and desserts were shuttled past, into the bungalows. I realized I was starving, and I had to go to the bathroom. Always a bad combination.

At that moment, Lois approached. Apparently, she hadn’t qualified for the chuck-wagon ticket either. I liked her even more. I assumed she felt snubbed and didn’t want to make her feel worse, so I spoke to her as she passed.

“You know, I found out it’s DIE, not DAY,” I offered.

“Really,” she drawled, extending the word. She arched an eyebrow.

“His assistant just informed me.”

“Oh,” she said, with the slightest recoil and resignation.

“And I think he should be a fairly reliable authority,” I said.

“Yes, indeed,” Lois agreed.

“I mean, the only higher source would be Mr. DIE’S mother but, unfortunately, she’s not available.”

“Who is Mr. DIE, anyway?” Lois asked, finally pronouncing his name correctly.

One of the caterers walked by with a silver chalice full of shrimp. Without missing a step he said, “He’s the director.” ■
Bob Canaan

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Comments

AlexSmythe Aug. 11, 2010 @ 1:48 p.m.

Wilson really sounds like an entitled @ss.

He doesn't own a pair of sunglasses? And then to send people BACK to the store because he didn't like the shape of the ones they purchased for him? Wow.

I guess the writer and his co-workers should consider themselves lucky that he didn't send them out on a coke run!

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Evelyn Aug. 12, 2010 @ 4:57 p.m.

Exactly #1! How the heck do you tell the 'traditional' and 'non-traditional' aviators apart? Both do the same work.

And according to Google, Dey's the director. (I just had to check)

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David Dodd Aug. 12, 2010 @ 5:16 p.m.

Blueevey, thanks for that, I walked away from this piece thinking that Dey was the director of catering (which would've been a wonderful irony), had no idea he directed the movie (never heard of him, but then, I'm not a cinema junkie). So far as the shades, meh, that's Hollyweird, it's all about image I reckon.

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Silvergate1 Aug. 14, 2010 @ 7:10 p.m.

So let me get this straight. Shades... Something you should try on yourself to see if YOU like them. Like a pair of shoes or clothing. How did Lois know which pair to get? Then to not like them and waste time by going back again. Since it became a gift from "Daddy", accept it for what it was...I agree with # 1

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tom12345 Aug. 24, 2010 @ 12:58 p.m.

Let me get this straight Bob. You were hired by Fox Studios to keep your mouth shut and drive! Apparently you have not been in the limo biz long,because the first rule is keep your mouth shut!!! You don't go around talking to the Reader and anyone else you run into and discuss there business.Its people like you that give the limo industry a black eye!And you wonder why celebs stay away from big mouths like you!If I was the people that hired you I would have sued you for Breech of Confidentiality.Loose lips sinks ships! And your a professional at your job??? More like a big mouth behind the wheel! Give us your number so we can have some of this professional service you claim to give! Big Mouth!

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vicmar Aug. 25, 2010 @ 9:36 a.m.

Sounds to me Bob like you were nearly pissing yourself trying to be a part of what was going on, rather than doing what you were hired to do. So you had to wait, you had to wait. So you had to whine about it in an article that makes you sound like a two year old. If you don't want to do what you're hired to do then go be an actor. Or a writer. HA! Good luck with that. I hope your employers bounced you out on your ass. You're a moron and you could potentially hurt alot of other people who take their job seriously and act like professionals. You are an embarrassment. Plain and simple.

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