Anchor ads are not supported on this page.

4S Ranch Allied Gardens Alpine Baja Balboa Park Bankers Hill Barrio Logan Bay Ho Bay Park Black Mountain Ranch Blossom Valley Bonita Bonsall Borrego Springs Boulevard Campo Cardiff-by-the-Sea Carlsbad Carmel Mountain Carmel Valley Chollas View Chula Vista City College City Heights Clairemont College Area Coronado CSU San Marcos Cuyamaca College Del Cerro Del Mar Descanso Downtown San Diego Eastlake East Village El Cajon Emerald Hills Encanto Encinitas Escondido Fallbrook Fletcher Hills Golden Hill Grant Hill Grantville Grossmont College Guatay Harbor Island Hillcrest Imperial Beach Imperial Valley Jacumba Jamacha-Lomita Jamul Julian Kearny Mesa Kensington La Jolla Lakeside La Mesa Lemon Grove Leucadia Liberty Station Lincoln Acres Lincoln Park Linda Vista Little Italy Logan Heights Mesa College Midway District MiraCosta College Miramar Miramar College Mira Mesa Mission Beach Mission Hills Mission Valley Mountain View Mount Hope Mount Laguna National City Nestor Normal Heights North Park Oak Park Ocean Beach Oceanside Old Town Otay Mesa Pacific Beach Pala Palomar College Palomar Mountain Paradise Hills Pauma Valley Pine Valley Point Loma Point Loma Nazarene Potrero Poway Rainbow Ramona Rancho Bernardo Rancho Penasquitos Rancho San Diego Rancho Santa Fe Rolando San Carlos San Marcos San Onofre Santa Ysabel Santee San Ysidro Scripps Ranch SDSU Serra Mesa Shelltown Shelter Island Sherman Heights Skyline Solana Beach Sorrento Valley Southcrest South Park Southwestern College Spring Valley Stockton Talmadge Temecula Tierrasanta Tijuana UCSD University City University Heights USD Valencia Park Valley Center Vista Warner Springs

The ’Burbs

Author: Siobhan Braun

Neighborhood: Tierrasanta

Age: 30

Occupation: Stay-at-Home Mom

We moved to Tierrasanta from the heart of El Cajon. The townhome we rented in East County was three blocks away from the liquor-store double homicide that happened a few years back. Police helicopters were known to circle above while my kids played ­outside.

Tierrasanta was a big change. There were no colorful homeless folks shouting obscenities at us; I ­didn’t have to worry about getting my ass kicked at the grocery store if I accidentally bumped my door into the car next to me. I kind of missed the near-daily sightings of Barbie man, the dude that bikes around El Cajon with hundreds of naked Barbies affixed to his ride. My new beauty salon smells like lilac and offers spa treatments, as opposed to the one in El Cajon that has the aroma of a wet dog and is situated between two gun ­shops.

Sponsored
Sponsored

My kids think Tierrasanta is peaceful. They ­don’t mean peaceful in a good way. ­“It’s so quiet here!” they ­grumble.

People are always running or riding bicycles. They walk their tiny suburban dogs on designer leashes and actually pick up the poop. In El Cajon our townhome drama was over whose kid started the lice epidemic. In Tierrasanta the moms gossip over which parents allow their children to have high-fructose corn ­syrup.

Whenever we mention that we moved from El Cajon, a look of fear spreads across our fellow ­Tierrasantites’ faces. “Wow,” one neighbor said after I mentioned our old stomping ground. “I have never even been to El Cajon.” To most, El Cajon is a foreign land, a place where they would immediately lock all car doors upon entering. In reality, ­it’s not so ­bad.

People around here take their ­homeowners’ association very seriously. Members walk around town with shiny clipboards and issue citations if your paint is chipping or if you have noticeable clutter around your home. Everything must be ­pristine.

A while back a group of disgruntled citizens organized a coup to overthrow the president of the ­homeowners’ association. They circulated an underground newspaper that was passed out to every home in our subdivision. It divulged the dirty secrets of the ­association’s members. They even went door-to-door for some serious crap talking. It was as if we were cast members on Desperate Housewives. I expected Bree Van de Kamp to show up with a plate of ­cookies.

Over the summer we attended our annual block party. Everyone contributed homemade items. We sat politely in lawn chairs discussing noise levels, the teenagers who had a bad habit of hanging out at the local park, and what was growing in ­everyone’s garden. I nostalgically remembered our El Cajon block party that involved binge drinking and hot dogs. Our townhome manager showed off her delightful talent for removing her panties while her shorts were still on. At midnight a group of neighbors rode their ­kids’ scooters to the apartment complex behind us and let the air out of the tires of the jeep whose car alarm was constantly waking us up in the middle of the ­night.

I feel a little like the outcast of Tierrasanta. I ­don’t own a minivan, I rarely water my plants, and my kid got sent to the ­principal’s office for swearing at recess. Slowly I am adjusting to life in the ’burbs. I will draw the line at owning a dog that fits inside my purse. However, I did sign my kids up for tennis lessons this ­summer.

Here's something you might be interested in.
Submit a free classified
or view all
Previous article

Coyote tracks in frail San Diego avocado grove

Second place winner in Reader neighborhood writing contest
Next Article

Pet pig perches in pocket

Escondido doula gets a taste of celebrity

Author: Siobhan Braun

Neighborhood: Tierrasanta

Age: 30

Occupation: Stay-at-Home Mom

We moved to Tierrasanta from the heart of El Cajon. The townhome we rented in East County was three blocks away from the liquor-store double homicide that happened a few years back. Police helicopters were known to circle above while my kids played ­outside.

Tierrasanta was a big change. There were no colorful homeless folks shouting obscenities at us; I ­didn’t have to worry about getting my ass kicked at the grocery store if I accidentally bumped my door into the car next to me. I kind of missed the near-daily sightings of Barbie man, the dude that bikes around El Cajon with hundreds of naked Barbies affixed to his ride. My new beauty salon smells like lilac and offers spa treatments, as opposed to the one in El Cajon that has the aroma of a wet dog and is situated between two gun ­shops.

Sponsored
Sponsored

My kids think Tierrasanta is peaceful. They ­don’t mean peaceful in a good way. ­“It’s so quiet here!” they ­grumble.

People are always running or riding bicycles. They walk their tiny suburban dogs on designer leashes and actually pick up the poop. In El Cajon our townhome drama was over whose kid started the lice epidemic. In Tierrasanta the moms gossip over which parents allow their children to have high-fructose corn ­syrup.

Whenever we mention that we moved from El Cajon, a look of fear spreads across our fellow ­Tierrasantites’ faces. “Wow,” one neighbor said after I mentioned our old stomping ground. “I have never even been to El Cajon.” To most, El Cajon is a foreign land, a place where they would immediately lock all car doors upon entering. In reality, ­it’s not so ­bad.

People around here take their ­homeowners’ association very seriously. Members walk around town with shiny clipboards and issue citations if your paint is chipping or if you have noticeable clutter around your home. Everything must be ­pristine.

A while back a group of disgruntled citizens organized a coup to overthrow the president of the ­homeowners’ association. They circulated an underground newspaper that was passed out to every home in our subdivision. It divulged the dirty secrets of the ­association’s members. They even went door-to-door for some serious crap talking. It was as if we were cast members on Desperate Housewives. I expected Bree Van de Kamp to show up with a plate of ­cookies.

Over the summer we attended our annual block party. Everyone contributed homemade items. We sat politely in lawn chairs discussing noise levels, the teenagers who had a bad habit of hanging out at the local park, and what was growing in ­everyone’s garden. I nostalgically remembered our El Cajon block party that involved binge drinking and hot dogs. Our townhome manager showed off her delightful talent for removing her panties while her shorts were still on. At midnight a group of neighbors rode their ­kids’ scooters to the apartment complex behind us and let the air out of the tires of the jeep whose car alarm was constantly waking us up in the middle of the ­night.

I feel a little like the outcast of Tierrasanta. I ­don’t own a minivan, I rarely water my plants, and my kid got sent to the ­principal’s office for swearing at recess. Slowly I am adjusting to life in the ’burbs. I will draw the line at owning a dog that fits inside my purse. However, I did sign my kids up for tennis lessons this ­summer.

Comments
Sponsored
Here's something you might be interested in.
Submit a free classified
or view all
Previous article

Pet pig perches in pocket

Escondido doula gets a taste of celebrity
Next Article

Yo-Yo Ma, Wagner, and Tchaikovsky come to San Diego

Comments
Ask a Hipster — Advice you didn't know you needed Big Screen — Movie commentary Blurt — Music's inside track Booze News — San Diego spirits Classical Music — Immortal beauty Classifieds — Free and easy Cover Stories — Front-page features Drinks All Around — Bartenders' drink recipes Excerpts — Literary and spiritual excerpts Feast! — Food & drink reviews Feature Stories — Local news & stories Fishing Report — What’s getting hooked from ship and shore From the Archives — Spotlight on the past Golden Dreams — Talk of the town The Gonzo Report — Making the musical scene, or at least reporting from it Letters — Our inbox Movies@Home — Local movie buffs share favorites Movie Reviews — Our critics' picks and pans Musician Interviews — Up close with local artists Neighborhood News from Stringers — Hyperlocal news News Ticker — News & politics Obermeyer — San Diego politics illustrated Outdoors — Weekly changes in flora and fauna Overheard in San Diego — Eavesdropping illustrated Poetry — The old and the new Reader Travel — Travel section built by travelers Reading — The hunt for intellectuals Roam-O-Rama — SoCal's best hiking/biking trails San Diego Beer — Inside San Diego suds SD on the QT — Almost factual news Sheep and Goats — Places of worship Special Issues — The best of Street Style — San Diego streets have style Surf Diego — Real stories from those braving the waves Theater — On stage in San Diego this week Tin Fork — Silver spoon alternative Under the Radar — Matt Potter's undercover work Unforgettable — Long-ago San Diego Unreal Estate — San Diego's priciest pads Your Week — Daily event picks
4S Ranch Allied Gardens Alpine Baja Balboa Park Bankers Hill Barrio Logan Bay Ho Bay Park Black Mountain Ranch Blossom Valley Bonita Bonsall Borrego Springs Boulevard Campo Cardiff-by-the-Sea Carlsbad Carmel Mountain Carmel Valley Chollas View Chula Vista City College City Heights Clairemont College Area Coronado CSU San Marcos Cuyamaca College Del Cerro Del Mar Descanso Downtown San Diego Eastlake East Village El Cajon Emerald Hills Encanto Encinitas Escondido Fallbrook Fletcher Hills Golden Hill Grant Hill Grantville Grossmont College Guatay Harbor Island Hillcrest Imperial Beach Imperial Valley Jacumba Jamacha-Lomita Jamul Julian Kearny Mesa Kensington La Jolla Lakeside La Mesa Lemon Grove Leucadia Liberty Station Lincoln Acres Lincoln Park Linda Vista Little Italy Logan Heights Mesa College Midway District MiraCosta College Miramar Miramar College Mira Mesa Mission Beach Mission Hills Mission Valley Mountain View Mount Hope Mount Laguna National City Nestor Normal Heights North Park Oak Park Ocean Beach Oceanside Old Town Otay Mesa Pacific Beach Pala Palomar College Palomar Mountain Paradise Hills Pauma Valley Pine Valley Point Loma Point Loma Nazarene Potrero Poway Rainbow Ramona Rancho Bernardo Rancho Penasquitos Rancho San Diego Rancho Santa Fe Rolando San Carlos San Marcos San Onofre Santa Ysabel Santee San Ysidro Scripps Ranch SDSU Serra Mesa Shelltown Shelter Island Sherman Heights Skyline Solana Beach Sorrento Valley Southcrest South Park Southwestern College Spring Valley Stockton Talmadge Temecula Tierrasanta Tijuana UCSD University City University Heights USD Valencia Park Valley Center Vista Warner Springs
Close

Anchor ads are not supported on this page.