I met a guy who told me a story about an NFL player he knew. “He made ten million bucks, and he was the most frugal person ever.” He wouldn’t tell me the player’s name but said that he played for the Broncos.
Some people on the back patio were smoking. Others were doing “keg stands,” standing on their hands while drinking from the keg hose.
I saw a guy peeing over the balcony. The patio people were rowdier than the rest of the party.
Back inside, I saw that a cake was being brought over to Jerry. It had trick candles, so after his first attempt, everyone sang “Happy Birthday” again.
I met another Asian woman as we were both grabbing sodas. She said, “A lot of people don’t realize that 80 percent of Asians are allergic to alcohol. With me, my teeth hurt and my skin breaks out.”
Someone overheard this and told me about their allergic reaction to chocolate. I asked, “How was Halloween when you were a kid?” She said, “It wasn’t that bad as a kid. I might get bad migraines or just break out a bit.”
As pieces of cake were passed out, I talked to the sister of the girl whose teacher tried picking her up. She informed me, “He sends her birthday cards each year...and letters. My mom is a teacher. I don’t know why she forwards these to her. Or why she doesn’t report the guy.”
As I was agreeing with her, we heard a drunken guy tell a woman that he did to the cake what the kid did to the pie in American Pie.
A woman said, “And guys wonder why we think they’re pigs.”