San Diego Reader

Ellen DeGeneres uses an American Express card.

What they’re trying to say: This celebrity uses our service, so you should too.

What the commercial really says: You’d think a lesbian would be more interesting. But, no.

Diamond jeweler ad where the girlfriends of the betrothed brag about the name brand of the engagement ring.

What they’re trying to say: Our diamond rings are so superior, women know them by name.

What the commercial really says: Kid, look at this as an investment. It’s an expensive diamond, but when you get divorced from saddlebags there, you’ve got a good shot at getting into the shorts of her three gold-digger friends. Pop. Done.

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