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Greg Friedman (Truckee Brothers): “In my old punk band, we played a charity Christmas show at a school for the mentally disabled. We started off too loud, and the entire audience was crying in agony. We turned down, and by the end of the second song they were overjoyed and screaming out, ‘You’re better than Michael Jackson!’ It was amazing to be responsible for such completely opposite emotions within the span of five minutes.”

Rockin’ Johnny White (promoter): “I’ve had my share of the girl with the new boob job who wants everybody in the club to check them out. But that one always starts out like this: ‘Do you dare me to flash my boobs?’ And I always reply, ‘Yes.’ ”

Gregory Page: “At Lestat’s, a guy walked onstage and stood at attention next to me while I was singing. I knew he was on drugs. First I asked him politely to leave, and he just stood there like a statue mumbling to himself. Then I said, ‘Hey, mister, see that plaque on the wall? It reads, “The Gregory Page Stage,” now get the fuck off my stage.’ Police were called, and he was taken away and I continued singing.”

Larry Grano (Soul Persuaders): “At Dick’s Last Resort. I was singing and some young lady came up who had a leash attached to a dog collar around her neck…and handed me the leash. What does one do? After mugging Johnny Carson—style for the crowd, I read her tags and called her owner.”

Brandon Welchez (the Prayers): “In Los Angeles, a pretty well-known Hollywood transvestite closed our show for us with an impromptu cover of ‘Louie Louie.’ ”

Dune Murderous (Defamation League): “One time I belligerently kicked Khemical Ali in the ribs during a performance, prompting him to start vomiting almost immediately. Somehow he didn’t miss a verse and trudged on.”

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