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Wednesday, February 27
Merv Griffin’s Crosswords
ABC 4:00 p.m.

Merv Griffin is one of those ubiquitous names you only partially recognize. He may have been a low-level crooner from Frank Sinatra’s era or he might’ve breached the surface of national popularity as a nightly news anchor between the eras of Cronkite and Brokaw. You don’t know. All you know is one time you heard a rumor about the length of “Merv Junior.”

Thursday, February 28
Judge David Young
Fox 3:00 p.m.

Oh, super. Just the other day I told my neighbor, I said to her, “You know what I’d really love? Another half hour fake-judge show because there aren’t already HUNDREDS broadcast each day on a thousand channels in a dozen different languages. Cram the gavel and robe into my open mouth and stand on my face to force the wad in.” That’s what I said.

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Comments

dr_zayaz Feb. 21, 2008 @ 8:11 p.m.

Everyone I see practically says to me, "Please crack my head in for my own sake." They don't say it in those words, no. They say it in other ways, like in the way they dress, but I hear them. And I heed their cries. I'd be a bastard if I didn't!

Story of my life:

Mom: Oh, Johan, you look so cute in your suspenders!

Mom's head: Crack!

Dad: Johan, life isn't always going to be easy.

Dad's head: Crack!

Me: Maybe you shouldn't go around cracking people's heads in all the time.

My head: Crack!

Cracking heads in is the only image I can, or will ever, comprehend. It is the single action which resonates sensibly within the rhythm of this world. Hopes are dashed! Heads are cracked! Of course you don't understand! Which is why your head needs to be cracked in! You do understand? Are you among the kindred? Then your head needs to be cracked in even harder, friend.

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