Tuesday, May 8
1,000 Places to See Before You Die
Travel 10:00 a.m.
Red Piano Inn, Siem Reap, Cambodia
The worst coffee I've ever had in my life was in Cambodia. But because the waitress was very cute in her white apron and giggly, so giggly, I couldn't tell her it was awful. I pretended to drink the vile swill while she watched me. I had poured half of it in my mouth when she was called away by another customer, and I spit the wad of it out the window. When she returned I held my cup up, smiled, and gave the international gesture for "good coffee" by going "mmmm." She was so cute and giggly.
The Next Bite
VS 10:00 a.m.
How very frightening. A Goth coffee bar. Because even the undead need a little pick-me-up in the morning. Of course, you're very serious and depressed and you long for passion and blood, and this is your dungeon. Don't let that Rice Krispie treat go stale or your latte get cold, Vampirella.
Nickelodeon 10:00 a.m.
Ugh, with the dogs all the time. Believe it or not, dogs don't belong in a place where food is prepared and served. Although, it's not even that. I don't mind dogs, even if they are where I'm eating and drinking. But don't make your voice real high and speak like it's the dog that's talking. I don't care that he "just wants to say hi! I really want to say hi and sniff everything! Oh, hi! Hi, how are you?" I know you think it's quite clever, but it's really not that amazing that you understand the inner workings of your dog's mind and can vocalize what he's thinking. Moron.