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Wednesday, December 26
Crowned: The Mother of All Pageants
CW 8:00 p.m.

Lump my compassion into the dirty snow banks and heaps of discarded pine trees. Tinsel hangs around my ears and I weep. Ring that bell in my face once more and I'll sock you in the beak. Is there anything as sad as the day after Christmas? A whole year left. A whole year. I'm going to get drunk.

Thursday, December 27
The Office
NBC 9:00 p.m.

Now what do we do? Hold our breath until New Year's Eve, I guess. Go into work, but don't really work . See who can eat the most cookies or watch a full DVD of The Family Guy on his desktop computer without getting caught by middle management. Start a betting pool on when the big girl going through a divorce is going to lock herself in a storage closet with a bottle of vodka and cry herself to sleep. You know, fun things.

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