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Wednesday, April 11 That's Gotta Hurt TLC 8:00 p.m. I like that these miniature dramas on candid video still adhere to Aristotle's definitions of conflict. A motorcyclist collides with a bulldozer? Man vs. Society. A lobsterman spears himself in the head and falls into the ocean? Man vs. Nature. And even though it seems that the antagonist has triumphed, we see later, in the hospital, that Man has really won the battle because he'll "just get back on and keep riding" or "go back to the boat tomorrow." It's all very Greek tragedy. Togas and sandals. Caught on tape.

Thursday, April 12 MSNBC Special: To Catch a Predator MSNBC 7:00 p.m. Damned MSNBC. Ruining all my fun. How I loved to pretend to be a 13-year-old girl in chat rooms and work old men up into a tunnel-visioned, sweaty-shirt-collar-between-their-teeth, one-handed-typing session. Now this stupid show has scared off all the eligible New Mexico retirees. What will I do for giggles?

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