Ad: Robbins Brothers Jewelers
Where seen: Will & Grace
If your dentist's office is closed, you have no household pliers, nor a friend to stomp your face against the curb, there's an alternative. Hold the affected tooth against the speaker of your television while the Falsetto brothers here whine on about "love" and "engagements" and "romance." Plink ! That tooth won't bother you again.
Ad: Quizno's subs
Where seen: Fear Factor, Ultimate Fighter, The Daily Show
This barfer for Quizno's shows a woman in a bikini flirting with a toddler who has the voice of a frat boy. Mmmmm hmmm. Because that's what I want associated with my sandwiches, a sexualized infant.
Ad: Animated bears crapping in the woods
Where seen: Oprah, Dr. Phil, Lifetime
Isn't it adorable how that watercolor bear squats in the sparsely illustrated forest to uh... he's what? He's crapping? Oh, ho ho ho! That's gross!
Where seen: Chasing satellite company dollars
My kingdom for whoever brings me the bloodied blue sweater of "Digital Max."