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NBC 7, 8:30 p.m.

David and Barb recently attended an art opening in L.A. to display David's photographs. For weeks they invited me to join them. "Go up with us, it'll be fun," they said. "No, I hate L.A." I maintained. Who shows up to the gallery? None other than Zach Braff. I may have missed my only chance to shake hands with the man who had the audacity to write, produce, and direct a movie in which he made out with Natalie Portman.

Wednesday, March 30 Oprah Winfrey

ABC 10, 4:00 p.m.

My friend Kip's favorite joke is to wait until a line has formed (his audience) at the grocery-store checkout stand, grab an Oprah magazine, and proclaim loudly, "Honey, look who's on the cover!" He does it every month. He never tires of it. His wife Renee can only feign ignorance of their acquaintance.

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