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Sunday, March 20

Paid Programming

WB 5, 10:00 a.m.

Oof. If you're not a child, not religious, and don't want to buy cutlery, Sunday-morning television is bleak. Get out of the house. You're pale and atrophied from being locked indoors all winter. People mistake you for a salamander when you trek to Starbucks. For God's sake, get some sun.

Monday, March 21

When Anesthesia Fails

DHC 73, 6:00 p.m.

Discovery Health rounds out its distrust-the-medical-industry campaign. When Anesthesia Fails follows in the footsteps of When Surgical Tools Get Left Behind. Both receive high marks in the heebie-jeebie department and have convinced me only to seek medical help when something has been severed from my body against my will.

Tuesday, March 22

Gilmore Girls

FAM 19, 5:00 p.m.

I feel as if I should know what this is. Its pervasiveness and my reluctance to watch it makes me similar to a mechanic who has never lifted the hood of a Toyota.

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