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"Is that what this is for?"

"No. These are just for me, personally. One time we were at this crazy party and got so drunk. I didn't remember anything. When I woke up the next morning, I looked at the photos on my camera. I didn't realize there were so many hot-looking chicks there. It had documented everything I couldn't remember."

Ah, technology. Helping drinkers remember. That should be a slogan.

One of the girls living upstairs was asked if people could use her bathroom. She jokingly said, "It depends. Are they going to go 'number one' or 'number two'?" I never did see anyone go up the stairs.

One guy peeked over the fence and said, "Dude, that's an awesome tie. I didn't have anything to wear. I wasn't going to buy a suit just to wear to a party." When he found out they were giving out T-shirts, he eagerly put one on.

It was Julia's 25th birthday. I found out another girl named Lisa Latimer was turning 24. We talked about having birthdays so close to Christmas. Neither of them had a problem with it.

I was talking to one good-looking guy for a while. A few women came up as we talked. I overheard one ask her friend if he was single. She said, "His girlfriend is in the kitchen making margaritas." The blonde who asked about him, with the glitter on her eyebrows, walked away. The guy laughed and said, "Did you hear that? She was interested in me." He then told me about how he and his current girlfriend are perfect together. He said, "I had one girlfriend that never wanted to have sex. It was horrible. My woman now is really sexually active. It's great."

He looked into the kitchen window and said something to his woman. I asked Julia if she could bring me a margarita, which she kindly did.

We talked about her job. A few of the younger people in the crowd talked about not knowing what they wanted to do with their lives. Some were still in school. Others just had part-time jobs. One guy told me, "As long as I have enough money to pay the rent and can go surfing, who wants a damn nine-to-five job?" It reminded me of Jeff Spicoli from Fast Times at Ridgemont High.

It was 12:30 in the morning, and I decided to go to the party directly across the street. It was in a nice three-story house, and I saw a well-dressed couple leaving. Maybe there'd be more food than the variety of chips at Pee Wee's Playhouse.

I asked a guy at the gate if I could crash the party. When I told him who I was, he said, "I've read that column. I was going to invite you to a party I had when I lived in Oceanside."

I didn't realize that within minutes I'd come close to getting my ass kicked. But, we'll go into that in the next issue. (Hey, I ended with a cliffhanger. How cool is that? I can leave you wondering if it was because of my goofy red bow tie. Or if I told the wrong woman she looked like Samuel L. Jackson. Stay tuned.)

Crash your party? Call 619-235-3000 x421 and leave an invitation for Josh Board.

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