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Wednesday, December 28

The View

ABC 10:00 a.m.

Joy Behar's sweat is the main ingredient in the mosquito repellent, DEET. A looped recording of her laugh is played outside of Minneapolis liquor stores to keep skater punks from loitering. And she insists that all shots of her are from the waist up because her knees are turned backwards like a horse and, try as she might, shoes just never cover her hooves completely. Those are just a few little-known facts about Joy Behar.

Thursday, December 29

The Simpsons

FOX 7:00 p.m.

Here's where you want to start prepping for New Year's Eve. Start on a regime of 5htp to combat the drug depression you'll no doubt feel come Sunday. Vitamin C, a B-complex, and plenty of rest should beef up your resistance to hangovers. And, only amateurs stay dry until the night of. Drink two or three stiff cocktails each night until New Year's so it's not such a shock to your system come party time. C'mon, this is all common sense stuff. What do I have to do, hold your hand?

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