Scott Marks 7 a.m., Sept. 18
White House Down
This might be our generation's Die Hard. If so, woe be to our generation. Like the NASCAR spoof Talladega Nights, White House Down works hard to appeal to yahoo sensibilities (the presidential limo doing donuts on the White House lawn while being fired on by rocket launchers, wa-hoo!) while at the same time telling yahoos that they are awful, stupid people (you didn't think the terrorists assaulting the White House would hail from the lucrative foreign market, did you?) Comedic violence rests torn cheek by bloody jowl with horrific carnage — the one-liners aren't cathartic so much as they're camp. Channing Tatum does himself proud as a divorced dad who wants to join the Secret Service and also win his daughter's affection via a White House tour. But even if he can take out the bad guys, he can't overcome the cynicism on display here. 2013.