Matthew Lickona 2 p.m., March 24
If you are filming with only one camera, it is physically impossible to cut away to a synchronous reaction shot of another character. That’s just one of the horrifying revelations this “set ‘em up, strip ‘em down, and kill ‘em off” flick holds in store for those foolish enough to give it their time. According to Magnet Releasing, it took 10 “of the top filmmakers in the game today” to produce this anthological atrocity. Maybe so, but you'd never know it to look at it: it’s virtually impossible to distinguish one “style” from the other. Give 100 monkeys 100 camcorders and 100 hours to shoot, and the end result couldn’t possibly be any less cine-illiterate than V/H/S. Though at one point, the rocky videography lets up long enough for a Skype conversation between two characters to ground the image before quickly reverting back to the grandeur of SeizureScope. What’s more antiquated: the slapdash narrative or the stock this bastard child of Blair Witch was shot on? Of all the great films we may never get to see projected on film, this witless torture porn - captured entirely on VHS tape - is being released in 35mm. Those film critics God wishes to destroy, he first makes mad. 2012.