Vampire Academy 0.0 stars

Vampire Academy movie poster

Vampires can not cavort in direct sunlight. That comes part and parcel with the legend, whether you’re Kathryn Bigelow looking for an easy way to cap Near Dark or now Mark Waters directing his senior class of St. Vladimir’s Academy through umbrella-covered strolls in the midday sun. The wanton trashing of vampire lore is the least objectionable element in this advanced placement incoherency that, after announcing its one original idea — a novice guardian (Zoey Deutch) acts as a donor trough for a blood-thirsty, but nonviolent princess (Lucy Fry) — settles in for 104 minutes of explicatory dialog and sloppily staged kick-boxing. The only remotely amusing curve thrown is Russian-born himbo Danila Kozlovsky (he appears to have studied at the tongues of vocal coaches Melania Trump and old Bela Lugosi movies) struggling to talk American. Harvey Weinstein wanted to father a Twilight franchise in the worst way and that’s exactly what audiences get. 2014.

Scott Marks

This movie is not currently in theaters.

Comments

Missionaccomplished Feb. 10, 2014 @ 7:51 p.m.

I guess that means they ain't your father's Dracula?

0

Scott Marks Feb. 11, 2014 @ 11:41 a.m.

This would kill Dracula faster than a klieg-lit garlic factory.

0

Sign in to comment

Join our
newsletter list

Enter to win $25 at Broken Yolk Cafe

Each newsletter subscription
means another chance to win!

Close