Scott Marks 3:30 p.m., Dec. 24
The Kings of Summer
Two best friends, both in permanent disconnect from their parents, and an ethnic-looking, slightly addlepated urchin positioned to grace t-shirts as this summer’s huggable answer to Napoleon Dynamite’s Pedro, flee home to spend the summer cobbling together a dilapidated cabin in the woods. More Sundance-sanctioned tripe that never should have left Colorado. From its flat lighting to its stereotypical sitcom authority figures, this Summer reeks of television. As frustrated teen Joe Toy, newcomer Nick Robinson basically reprises his role as the harangued son on the current pass of Cox Cable TV commercials. The only thing flimsier than the narrative structure of this Walden’s Kiddie Pond are the sawdust and spirit gum beards the boys sprout to show a passage of time. This marks the first feature for Funny or Die veteran Jordan Vogt-Roberts. With Gabriel Basso, Moises Arias, and the new Wilford Brimley, Nick Offerman. 2013.