Matthew Lickona 7 a.m., April 24
Jack the Giant Slayer
A bag containing cholesterol-free, nutrient-dense seeds that have the power to change the world falls into the wrong hands. Fee-fi-ho-hum! All of the costumes, elaborate sets, lush cinematography (thank you, Newton Thomas Sigel!), and naturalistic use of depth don’t amount to a hill of beans in this giant time-slayer. Talk about a colossal comedown: this is brought to you by Bryan Singer and Christopher McQuarrie, the team behind The Usual Suspects. (It was co-written by Darren Lemke which might explain why all the CG behemoths look like something out of Shrek 3D.) Nicholas Hoult should have stuck with warm (as opposed to cyclopean) bodies, while the rest of the lettered cast (who should have known better) — Ewan McGregor, Stanley Tucci, Eddie Marsan, Ian McShane, and Bill Nighy — are along for the paycheck. 2013.
— Scott Marks