Why do you want to see Godzilla? Is it to see an embiggened update of the famous radioactive lizard? Is it to hear a tweaked, booming, maybe-recognizable version of the famous squeal? Is it to see the big guy breathe his famous nuclear fire? Then step right up! Is it to see awesome monster battles and catastrophic urban destruction? To experience vicarious terror as tiny humans cower and perish before the onslaught of nightmarish natural forces? Well, there's some of that, I guess. Is it to nod in appreciation over an updated exploration of nuclear anxiety in the wake of Fukushima? To delight in the perfectly pitched performances of fine actors like Bryan Cranston and Ken Watanabe in an old-fashioned monster movie? Um, not so much. Anyway: Godzilla is now the only alpha predator besides man who doesn't eat what he hunts. But somehow, he still exists to restore the balance to nature — even if that means saving humanity and its practice of nuclear fission. Bonkers and boring. Oh, well. At least there's a nice lesson about the importance of family. 2014.

Matthew Lickona

This movie is not currently in theaters.

Comments

Duhbya May 15, 2014 @ 6:23 a.m.

Pot, kettle, black. "Such insolence has never come my way...." - John Huston to Humphrey Bogart - Treasure of the Sierra Madre, film version, 1947.

All opinions welcomed. Right?

(bastard? really!!??)

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Scott Marks May 17, 2014 @ 9:58 a.m.

Guess someone's going to need an armed guard at this year's Comic-Con. I told you not to piss off the third-graders!

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