5 p.m., Feb. 26
Instead of going to a hot boy’s Halloween party, Wren (Victoria Justice) is ordered to take her 8-year-old, bonbon-eating bon vivant brother, Albert (Jackson Nicoll) trick or treating. When first we meet the brawny tyke, he is parked naked on the bowl dropping a deuce while sis finishes up her shower. All that's missing is a stogie and can of Blatz! Their dad is dead and Albert hasn't verbally communicated with anyone in over a year. He turns a page in his comic book before holding up one finger as if to say, “I’ll be off as soon as I finish this chapter.” As much as we all deplore plebeian fart humor, the added 'kerplunk' is a touch of aural splendor. Dressed as Spider-Man with a bloody stump, Albert is the type of kid for whom Benadryl Baby will definitely act as a stepping stone to harder drugs. Albert escapes, and virginal Wren enlists the aid of her slightly-sluttier BFF April (Jane Levy) and a pair of class nerds with wheels (Thomas Mann and Osric Chau) to join in her hunt for Albert. What am I forgetting? Chelsea Handler's career — she plays Wren and Albert's mother — has officially jumped the shark. Other kid-friendly infractions include a CG cat that's allergic to the NAIR on April's backside, a pair of obese, scantily clad Samoans, an adorable African-American child saying, "You're not my mommy, bitch," a giant chicken humping a Volvo, mammogram jokes, and a can of slow-motion soda that's timed to hit the floor with an ejaculatory splash the minute the nerd's feelings for Wren are made known. 2012.