Matthew Lickona 2 p.m., Jan. 13
Sylvester Stallone back in stir, this time as a professional jailbreaker hired by penal institutions to go undercover and test the impregnability of maximum security prisons. The implausibility of the opening escape is made clear in a flashback. Sly is assigned a different institution to crack, and the moment fellow con Arnold Schwarzenegger walks out the cell door, logic goes innuendo. Stallone at least tries to play it straight. Arnold’s dick jokes and other goofy asides are simply trying. A second act geographical reveal comes as a genuinely pleasant shock. After that, it’s smooth sailing towards a predictably dopey resolution. At no point were theatre exit doors checked for an evacuation route. A pair of cosmetically embroidered slabs of aged Hollywood prime waging battle beats a CG toy show any day. Mikael Håfström (The Rite) directs. With Jim Caviezel, Vincent D'Onofrio, and Curtis ‘50 Cent’ Jackson kicking in a couple bucks worth of unintentional laughs. 2013.