Scott Marks 3:30 p.m., Dec. 24
The Brass Teapot
A down-on-her-luck ditz (Juno Temple) filches a teapot from a rural antique shop, only to discover that the 2000-year-old boiler -- branded with a Star of David and once owned by Hitler -- is cursed. The more pain inflicted on its owner, the longer the stream of hundred dollar bills the magic vessel spits out. Overnight, Temple and boyfriend Michael Angarano’s conventional sex life is transformed into an S&M relationship worthy of J.G. Ballard’s Crash. Unfortunately, the source material is screenwriter Tim Macy’s comic book, and first time director Ramaa Mosley doesn’t have the eye needed to give the material a much needed satiric boost. A pair of Hasidic henchmen hot on the trail of the shtetl kettle contribute laughs until what little point there was to the story in the first place quickly dissipates, and the film sputters to its conventional conclusion. 2012.