Beautiful Creatures 0.0 stars

As the sun fades on the Twilight series, Hollywood sets its sights on another stretch of successful teen Harlequin Romances. Gatlin, South Carolina is the type of place people can leave only after they die. A group of "casters" (don’t call them witches) transform the town and an otherwise handsomely shot horror film into a snuggly rom-com with enough stereotypical Rednecks and Christian-bashing to alienate both sides of the argument. You thought the Twilight films were dopey? If Jeremy Irons is such an omnipotent warlock, how is it that he can’t detect a strange boy in his daughter’s bedroom? As the love interests, newcomers Alice Englert (Jane Campion’s daughter) and Andy Griffith clone Alden Ehrenreich take turns dispensing expository dialog. Instead of a one-sheet, theater auditoriums should post orange, diamond-shaped highway signs that read: “WARNING: FRANCHISE UNDER CONSTRUCTION.” Richard LaGravenese positioned the actors and hollered “Action!” With Emma Thompson and Viola Davis. 2013

Scott Marks

This movie is not currently in theaters.

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