China opens assault on America’s border and heartstrings

Last week, in what is possibly the most heartwarming news ever, China announced that it would be loaning two giant pandas to the San Diego Zoo. We’re so lucky! And it’s important to note that this wonderful gesture has nothing to do with the fact that in 2024, more Chinese nationals crossed the border into the San Diego Sector than people from any country besides Colombia. (Yes, even more than Mexico.) Further, it’s important to note that there is nothing suspicious about the fact that the number of Chinese nationals apprehended at the southern border jumped from 2000 in 2022 to 24,000 in 2023. Everything’s fine, and pandas are just the cutest things ever. China must love and respect the people of San Diego very much indeed to be willing to make such a generous loan. Even better, they have not asked for anything in return. Just our love and attention, to be lavished upon these excellent beasts, and not wasted on other, less important matters.