Nerds susceptible to ass-kicking at the hands of the Bro

Dear Hipster: You have compared hipsters and bros in the past, but what about hipsters and nerds? Do hipsters see nerds as allies against the juggernaut of mainstream culture, or are nerds themselves too mainstream for hipsters to appreciate? — Valerie

Do I detect a hint of serendipity seasoning the stew that is my hipster inbox lately? Nerds and Comic-Con in the same week. Not to mention, both enquiries languished in an overzealous SPAM folder (sorry!) for several weeks before I plucked them from the brink of irrelevance. If I were more in touch with my atman, I’d call it karma, but that would probably be wrong, and I’m not, so I won’t. So there.

Anyways, the Hipster and the Nerd were indeed cut from the same Cloth when the Cosmic Tailor deployed his mystical Sheers upon the Fabric of Humanity. From the Beginning, when both were Unliked and susceptible to violent Ass-Kicking at the hands of the Bro (at least till the Bro needed someone to selleth him some Weed and/or do his Odious Homework), the Hipster and the Nerd shareth the common bond of Outsider, the one by choice, the other seemingly by default. True, their paths divergeth over time. The Nerd matureth into the Tech-Bro, he who driveth a Tesla and doth infuriate the baristas at the local Starbucks with his orders for Quadrupple Gluten Free Venti Mocha Unicorn Shakes and free Wi-Fi, after which he staunchly refuseth to tip lest his $250k/year salary decreaseth by some small portion. The Hipster in his stead matureth from the Emo Kid to the Neo-Hardcore Poser to the Vegan Bartender to the Indie Record Store Clerk to the Freelance Graphic Designer and so on ad infinitum but always he remains quintessentially hip.

Yet, lo, though their destinies be different, both Hipster and Nerd shareth the dirty little secret of having invited each other over to watch Star Wars Episode I: the Phantom Menace, and having been altogether sorely disappointed for many of the same reasons. Yea, verily, they are of the same stock.