The difference between hipsters and hippies

Dear Hipster:

What is the difference between hipster and hippie? My roommate and I were having a discussion, and, well, I figured, let’s ask a hipster.

You can find hipsters in overpriced homes in North or South Park, and Hippies in vans in O.B. Hipsters you find at a local brewery vs. hippies smoking weed in O.B. Hipsters have great jobs and a side hobby of being green and environmental, whereas hippies smoke green and be environmental by recycling EVERYTHING, i.e., re-using sandwich bags, refilling bottles, and so on. Hipsters listen to music nobody knows about yet, while hippies listen to music you have to be stoned while listening to so it does not drive you insane.

Are hipsters modern-day hippies that have left the 1970s behind, or are they a whole new style? The mustache and hair is what really creates that question in my head.

I myself am wannabe white trash living in Lemon Grove. If I were to grow up five more miles east, I could claim full status, but, hey, it’s where I grew up.

— Nino

I can’t help but notice that you have your own strongly worded ideas about the difference between hipsters and hippies. Something tells me I’m not going to change your mind, or, at the very least, that there isn’t much I can add to your comprehensive worldview. But the fact that you mention white trashiness reminds me of something that I drew up a while back. For a presentation at a secret hipster convention in Buffalo, New York.

[Rummages through hipster archives...]

Yes. Indeed. It’s actually possible to plot the relative relationships between hipsters, hippies, and the terminally Whiskey Tango, using well-known musicians as reference points. Please refer to the attached diagram to resolve all future issues.