You will be curmudgeons

Hipster: This question is almost like that summer road trip with the folks as a kid, and the endless questions in the car: “Dad, what would happen if...? What was it like when...? Where do...come from...?” What will happen when today’s hipsters get older? Will it be like a certain generation talking about being ex-hippies? Will they tell their kids, “When I was your age, we used to put liquid smoke and cardamon in our homebrew, and we used to ride our fixies five miles uphill both ways to the farmers’ market.” — David

There are two kinds of hipsters in this world: (1) those who admit that they will someday utter the phrase, “Back in my day, our popular musicians had real talent”; and (2) dirty, rotten, liars. Like an evolving Pokémon, all hipsters will transform to salty old curmudgeons someday — it is just a matter of when. You can bet your ass they will look with utter disdain upon the fads of the moment.