The unnerving man-bun craze

Dear Hipster:

I need help with this man-bun craze, you know, the short hair with a little ponytail. One of my favorite performers has taken up the man-bun, and it’s on all of his album covers and publicity photos. For a reason I do not understand, this whole craze completely unnerves me. Some say it’s hipster in origin, so I’m turning to you.

— Sam K.

I thought we hit peak man-bun the moment Resurrected Jon Snow teased that shaggy ’do into a nifty little top-knot on Game of Thrones. And this after those creepy South African YouTube hipsters waged anti-man-bun PSA warfare in a cringeworthy effort to “Stop the Knot.” You’d think that would have stopped the man-bun dead in its tracks [rolls eyes at the foolhardiness of lesser online hipsters], yet, guys keep telling the barber, “Make me look like the genie from Aladdin.”

Say no more, fam. Say no more.

I don’t think hipsters can take the “credit” for the man-bun. It’s too Hollywood. Too catwalk. Too Orlando Bloom. Too Russell Brand. Too...anyone else who got naked with Katy Perry, really.

Just because something’s taken the cover of People magazine by storm, that doesn’t make it cool.

If, on the off chance this is all just a bunch of sour grapes over your personal man-bunlessness, you can can order a super sweet clip-on bun from Amazon, and I promise not to tell anyone that it isn’t your naturally glorious mane.