Hollywood hotheads compete in The Anger Games

From the mind of the working-class Chuck Workman comes another kaleidoscopic array of clips strung together as only this smart aleck can. The idea had been growing in my brain for some time. True farce. All the king’s men put together in one rollicking essay on celluloid rage.

The seed was planted in the early ’80s when National Lampoon ran a mock ad for an “Angry Man Contest” asking readers to choose between George C. Scott and Kirk Douglas. Around the same time, Kirk hosted SNL and one of the evening’s skits found his angriness playing commercial pitchman for the latest K-Tel Records collection, Kirk’s Greatest Kirks!

There’s something about watching handsomely paid grown men phony up anger that’s puts a grin on my kisser. One of my first editing exercises after purchasing a VCR was a three-minute assembly of various actors flipping out. This was soon followed by intercutting George C. Scott’s legendary vein-bulging, face-reddening “TURN IT OFF!” tirade from Hardcore with a Bob and Dolores Hope Christmas number.

Like a junkie shooting pure quicksilver into his veins, I got turned on by the wildest narcotic known to man: feckless juxtaposition! Now I know why Marty looks to Thelma with love in his eyes.

Here are your Ten Angry Men: George C. Scott, Kirk Douglas, John Wayne, Robert De Niro, Raymond Burr, Robert Ryan, Jack Nicholson, Clint Eastwood, Lee Marvin, and Moe Howard. Why not Bruce Dern or Bob Mitchum? They held out for the sequel.

Thanks to Rob “Colonna” Martinez for his editorial consultation and for providing the all-important “cookies” blowout from Petulia that closes the show. What follows contains over 225 edits from 79 movies. To make it easy on you, I’ve included a source list.

The subject is anger, but the end goal was laughter. Turn it up!

Sources: (1) Caught. (2) Johnny Get Angry sung by Joanie Sommers. (3) The Conqueror trailer. (4) John Wayne speaks at UCLA. (5) Brannigan. (6) What’s My Line?. (7) A Cry in the Night. (8) Desperate. (9) Exorcist III. (10) Truth or Consequences theme. (11) Dr. Strangelove. (12) 12 Angry Men. (13) Act of Violence. (14) Stanley and Iris trailer. (15) Taxi Driver. (16) Raging Bull. (17) The Rookie trailer. (18) The Gauntlet. (19) The Dirty Dozen trailer. (20) The Ballad of Cat Ballou sung by Nat “King” Cole. (21) Point Blank. (22) Men In Black. (23) I Can Hardly Wait. (24) The Indian Fighter. (25) Whale of a Tale sung by Kirk Douglas. (26) Once is Not Enough. (27) Man Without a Star. (28) Mars Attacks!. (29) Batman by Neal Hefti. (30) The Last Detail. (31) Carnal Knowledge. (32) One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest. (33) Five Easy Pieces. (34) The Man Who Shot Liberty Valance. (35) The Bad and the Beautiful. (36) Patton. (37) Mean Streets. (38) Micro Phonies. (39) Chinatown. (40) On Dangerous Ground. (41) Champion. (42) Uncivil Warriors. (43) Mutts to You. (44) Matri-Phony. (45) Casino. (46) Born to Be Bad. (47) Anger Management. (48) Horizons West. (49) Gents Without Cents. (50) Brideless Groom. (51) The Enforcer. (52) Crash Goes the Hash. (53) Rear Window. (54) Oscar ‘81. (55) Ben-Hur fanfare by Miklós Rózsa. (56) The King of Comedy. (57) The Big Heat. (58) Cape Fear. (59) Goodfellas. (60) New York, New York. (61) Love at First Bite. (62) In Harm’s Way. (63) The Killers. (64) Big Jim McLain. (65) Sands of Iwo Jima. (66) Oscar ‘71. (67) Sell the Difference! (68) Birthday Blues. (69) Hardcore. (70) The Searchers. (71) The Hospital. (72) Anatomy of a Murder. (73) The Formula. (74) Day of the Dolphin. (75) Rage. (76) The Hustler. (77) Bugs Bunny Gets the Boid. (78) Petulia. (79) It’s A Beautiful Day for a Ballgame sung by the Harry Simeone Songsters.